Act IV - Page 2

they understand!" It's the same
at table. But I understand! You say, there's a difference? I say there
is none.

FIRST FOOTMAN. There is a great difference for those who understand.

GREGORY. There is none at all. To-day I am a footman, and to-morrow I
may be living no worse than they are. Has it never happened that
they've married footmen? I'll go and have a smoke.

[Exit.

SECOND FOOTMAN. That's a bold young man you've got.

THEODORE IVÁNITCH. A worthless fellow, not fit for service. He used to
be an office boy and has got spoilt. I advised them not to take him,
but the mistress liked him. He looks well on the carriage when they
drive out.

FIRST FOOTMAN. I should like to send him to our Count; he'd put him in
his place! Oh, he don't like those scatterbrains. "If you're a
footman, be a footman and fulfil your calling." Such pride is not
befitting.

[PETRÍSTCHEF comes running downstairs, and takes out a cigarette.

PETRÍSTCHEF (deep in thought). Let's see, my second is the same as my
first. Echo, a-co, co-coa. (Enter KOKO KLÍNGEN, wearing his
pince-nez.) Ko-ko, co-coa. Cocoa tin, where do you spring from?

KOKO KLÍNGEN. From the Stcherbákofs. You are always playing the
fool....

PETRÍSTCHEF. No, listen to my charade. My first is the same as my
second, my third may be cracked, my whole is like your pate.

KOKO KLÍNGEN. I give it up. I've no time.

PETRÍSTCHEF. Where else are you going?

KOKO KLÍNGEN. Where? Of course to the Ivins, to practice for the
concert. Then to the Shoúbins, and then to the rehearsal. You'll be
there too, won't you?

PETRÍSTCHEF. Most certainly. At the re-her-Sall and also at the
re-her-Sarah. Why, at first I was a savage, and now I am both a savage
and a general.

KOKO KLÍNGEN. How did yesterday's séance go off?

PETRÍSTCHEF. Screamingly funny! There was a peasant, and above all, it
was all in the dark. Vovo cried like an infant, the Professor defined,
and Márya Vasílevna refined. Such a lark! You ought to have been
there.

KOKO KLÍNGEN. I'm afraid, mon cher. You have a way of getting off with
a jest, but I always feel that if I say a word they'll construe it
into a proposal. Et ça ne m'arrange pas du tout, du tout. Mais du
tout, du tout! [17]

PETRÍSTCHEF. Instead of a proposal, make a proposition, and receive a
sentence! Well, I shall go in to Vovo's. If you'll call for me, we can
go to the re-her-Sarah together.

KOKO KLÍNGEN. I can't think how you can be friends with such a fool.
He is so stupid--a regular