Chapter 21 - Page 2

Neigh; do anything, but don't chaff. You know that I am the easiest man in the world for taking it at most times. But I can't stand it now; I don't feel up to it. A glimpse of paradise, and then perdition. What would you do, Neigh?'

'She has refused you, then?'

'Well--not positively refused me; but it is so near it that a dull man couldn't tell the difference. I hardly can myself.'

'How do you really stand with her?' said Neigh, with an anxiety ill- concealed.

'Off and on--neither one thing nor the other. I was determined to make an effort the last time she sat to me, and so I met her quite coolly, and spoke only of technicalities with a forced smile--you know that way of mine for drawing people out, eh, Neigh?'

'Quite, quite.'

'A forced smile, as much as to say, "I am obliged to entertain you, but as a mere model for art purposes." But the deuce a bit did she care. And then I frequently looked to see what time it was, as the end of the sitting drew near--rather a rude thing to do, as a rule.'

'Of course. But that was your finesse. Ha-ha!--capital! Yet why not struggle against such slavery? It is regularly pulling you down. What's a woman's beauty, after all?'

'Well you may say so! A thing easier to feel than define,' murmured Ladywell. 'But it's no use, Neigh--I can't help it as long as she repulses me so exquisitely! If she would only care for me a little, I might get to trouble less about her.'

'And love her no more than one ordinarily does a girl by the time one gets irrevocably engaged to her. But I suppose she keeps you back so thoroughly that you carry on the old adoration with as much vigour as if it were a new fancy every time?'

'Partly yes, and partly no! It's very true, and it's not true!'

"Tis to be hoped she won't hate you outright, for then you would absolutely die of idolizing her.'

'Don't, Neigh!--Still there's some truth in it--such is the perversity of our hearts. Fancy marrying such a woman!'

'We should feel as eternally united to her after years and years of marriage as to a dear new angel met at last night's dance.'

'Exactly--just what I should have said. But did I hear you say "We," Neigh? You didn't say "We should feel?"'

'Say "we"?--yes--of course--putting myself in your place just in the way of speaking, you know.'

'Of course, of course; but one is such a fool at these times that one seems to detect rivalry in every trumpery sound! Were you never a little touched?'

'Not I. My heart is in the happy position of a country which has no history or debt.'

'I suppose I should rejoice to hear it,' said Ladywell. 'But the consciousness of a fellow-sufferer being in just such another hole is such a relief always, and softens the sense of one's folly so very much.'

'There's less Christianity in that sentiment than in your