Appendix C

The College Prison

It seems that the student may break a good many of the public laws
without having to answer to the public authorities. His case must come
before the University for trial and punishment. If a policeman catches
him in an unlawful act and proceeds to arrest him, the offender
proclaims that he is a student, and perhaps shows his matriculation
card, whereupon the officer asks for his address, then goes his way, and
reports the matter at headquarters. If the offense is one over which the
city has no jurisdiction, the authorities report the case officially
to the University, and give themselves no further concern about it.
The University court send for the student, listen to the evidence, and
pronounce judgment. The punishment usually inflicted is imprisonment
in the University prison. As I understand it, a student's case is
often tried without his being present at all. Then something like
this happens: A constable in the service of the University visits the
lodgings of the said student, knocks, is invited to come in, does so,
and says politely--

"If you please, I am here to conduct you to prison."

"Ah," says the student, "I was not expecting it. What have I been
doing?"

"Two weeks ago the public peace had the honor to be disturbed by you."

"It is true; I had forgotten it. Very well: I have been complained of,
tried, and found guilty--is that it?"

"Exactly. You are sentenced to two days' solitary confinement in the
College prison, and I am sent to fetch you."

STUDENT. "O, I can't go today."

OFFICER. "If you please--why?"

STUDENT. "Because I've got an engagement."

OFFICER. "Tomorrow, then, perhaps?"

STUDENT. "No, I am going to the opera, tomorrow."

OFFICER. "Could you come Friday?"

STUDENT. (Reflectively.) "Let me see--Friday--Friday. I don't seem to
have anything on hand Friday."

OFFICER. "Then, if you please, I will expect you on Friday."

STUDENT. "All right, I'll come around Friday."

OFFICER. "Thank you. Good day, sir."

STUDENT. "Good day."

So on Friday the student goes to the prison of his own accord, and is
admitted.

It is questionable if the world's criminal history can show a custom
more odd than this. Nobody knows, now, how it originated. There have
always been many noblemen among the students, and it is presumed that
all students are gentlemen; in the old times it was usual to mar the
convenience of such folk as little as possible; perhaps this indulgent
custom owes its origin to this.

One day I