Chapter 28 - Page 2

feet nine inches or thereabouts from
where I--" Still careful not to outrun the clerk's
penmanship Stubberd pulled up again; for having got his
evidence by heart it was immaterial to him whereabouts he
broke off.

"I object to that," spoke up the old woman, "'spot measuring
twelve feet nine or thereabouts from where I,' is not sound
testimony!"

The magistrates consulted, and the second one said that the
bench was of opinion that twelve feet nine inches from a man
on his oath was admissible.

Stubberd, with a suppressed gaze of victorious rectitude at
the old woman, continued: "Was standing myself. She was
wambling about quite dangerous to the thoroughfare and when
I approached to draw near she committed the nuisance, and
insulted me."

"'Insulted me.'...Yes, what did she say?"

"She said, 'Put away that dee lantern,' she says."

"Yes."

"Says she, 'Dost hear, old turmit-head? Put away that dee
lantern. I have floored fellows a dee sight finer-looking
than a dee fool like thee, you son of a bee, dee me if I
haint,' she says.

"I object to that conversation!" interposed the old woman.
"I was not capable enough to hear what I said, and what is
said out of my hearing is not evidence."

There was another stoppage for consultation, a book was
referred to, and finally Stubberd was allowed to go on
again. The truth was that the old woman had appeared in
court so many more times than the magistrates themselves,
that they were obliged to keep a sharp look-out upon their
procedure. However, when Stubberd had rambled on a little
further Henchard broke out impatiently, "Come--we don't want
to hear any more of them cust dees and bees! Say the words
out like a man, and don't be so modest, Stubberd; or else
leave it alone!" Turning to the woman, "Now then, have you
any questions to ask him, or anything to say?"

"Yes," she replied with a twinkle in her eye; and the clerk
dipped his pen.

"Twenty years ago or thereabout I was selling of furmity in
a tent at Weydon Fair----"

"'Twenty years ago'--well, that's beginning at the
beginning; suppose you go back to the Creation!" said the
clerk, not without satire.

But Henchard stared, and quite forgot what was evidence and
what was not.

"A man and a woman with a little child came into my tent,"
the woman continued. "They sat down and had a basin apiece.
Ah, Lord's my life! I was of a more respectable station in
the world then than I am now, being a land smuggler in a
large way of business; and I used to season my furmity with
rum for them who asked for't. I did it for the man; and
then he had more and more; till at last he quarrelled with
his wife,