Act III

SCENE

The Picture Gallery at Hunstanton. Door at back leading on to
terrace.

[LORD ILLINGWORTH and GERALD, R.C. LORD ILLINGWORTH lolling on a
sofa. GERALD in a chair.]

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Thoroughly sensible woman, your mother, Gerald.
I knew she would come round in the end.

GERALD. My mother is awfully conscientious, Lord Illingworth, and
I know she doesn't think I am educated enough to be your secretary.
She is perfectly right, too. I was fearfully idle when I was at
school, and I couldn't pass an examination now to save my life.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear Gerald, examinations are of no value
whatsoever. If a man is a gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if
he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him.

GERALD. But I am so ignorant of the world, Lord Illingworth.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Don't be afraid, Gerald. Remember that you've
got on your side the most wonderful thing in the world - youth!
There is nothing like youth. The middle-aged are mortgaged to
Life. The old are in life's lumber-room. But youth is the Lord of
Life. Youth has a kingdom waiting for it. Every one is born a
king, and most people die in exile, like most kings. To win back
my youth, Gerald, there is nothing I wouldn't do - except take
exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community.

GERALD. But you don't call yourself old, Lord Illingworth?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. I am old enough to be your father, Gerald.

GERALD. I don't remember my father; he died years ago.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. So Lady Hunstanton told me.

GERALD. It is very curious, my mother never talks to me about my
father. I sometimes think she must have married beneath her.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. [Winces slightly.] Really? [Goes over and puts
his hand on GERALD'S shoulder.] You have missed not having a
father, I suppose, Gerald?

GERALD. Oh, no; my mother has been so good to me. No one ever had
such a mother as I have had.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. I am quite sure of that. Still I should imagine
that most mothers don't quite understand their sons. Don't
realise, I mean, that a son has ambitions, a desire to see life, to
make himself a name. After all, Gerald, you couldn't be expected
to pass all your life in such a hole as Wrockley, could you?

GERALD. Oh, no! It would be dreadful!

LORD ILLINGWORTH. A mother's love is very touching, of course, but
it is often curiously selfish. I mean, there is a good deal of
selfishness in it.

GERALD. [Slowly.] I suppose there is.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Your mother is a thoroughly good woman. But
good women have such limited views of life, their horizon is so
small, their interests are so petty, aren't they?

GERALD.