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    thinks one country better than another.

    IMMODEST, adj. Having a strong sense of one's own merit, coupled with a feeble conception of worth in others.
    There was once a man in Ispahan
    Ever and ever so long ago,
    And he had a head, the phrenologists said,
    That fitted him for a show.

    For his modesty's bump was so large a lump
    (Nature, they said, had taken a freak)
    That its summit stood far above the wood
    Of his hair, like a mountain peak.

    So modest a man in all Ispahan,
    Over and over again they swore --
    So humble and meek, you would vainly seek;
    None ever was found before.

    Meantime the hump of that awful bump
    Into the heavens contrived to get
    To so great a height that they called the wight
    The man with the minaret.

    There wasn't a man in all Ispahan
    Prouder, or louder in praise of his chump:
    With a tireless tongue and a brazen lung
    He bragged of that beautiful bump

    Till the Shah in a rage sent a trusty page
    Bearing a sack and a bow-string too,
    And that gentle child explained as he smiled:
    "A little present for you."

    The saddest man in all Ispahan,
    Sniffed at the gift, yet accepted the same.
    "If I'd lived," said he, "my humility
    Had given me deathless fame!"
    Sukker Uffro
    IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral. If man's notions of right and wrong have any other basis than this of expediency; if they originated, or could have originated, in any other way; if actions have in themselves a moral character apart from, and nowise dependent on, their consequences -- then all philosophy is a lie and reason a disorder of the mind.

    IMMORTALITY, n.
    A toy which people cry for,
    And on their knees apply for,
    Dispute, contend and lie for,
    And if allowed
    Would be right proud
    Eternally to die for.
    G.J.
    IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound. This, however, is inaccurate; to imaple is, properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position. This was a common mode of punishment among many of the nations of antiquity, and is still in high favor in China and other parts of Asia. Down to the beginning of the fifteenth century it was widely employed in "churching" heretics and schismatics. Wolecraft calls it the "stoole of repentynge," and among the common people it was jocularly known as "riding the one legged horse." Ludwig Salzmann informs us that in Thibet impalement is considered the most appropriate punishment for crimes against religion; and although in China it is sometimes awarded for secular offences, it is most frequently adjudged in
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