VII. To Maitre Francoys Rabelais

Of the Coming of the Coqcigrues.

Master,- In the Boreal and Septentrional lands, turned aside from the noonday
and the sun, there dwelt of old (as thou knowest, and as Olaus voucheth) a
race of men, brave, strong, nimble, and adventurous, who had no other care but
to fight and drink. There, by reason of the cold (as Virgil witnesseth), men
break wine with axes. To their minds, when once they were dead and gotten to
Valhalla, or the place of their Gods, there would be no other pleasure but to
swig, tipple, drink, and boose till the coming of that last darkness and
Twilight, wherein they, with their deities, should do battle against the
enemies of all mankind; which day they rather desired than dreaded.

So chanced it also with Pantagruel and Brother John and their company, after
they had once partaken of the secret of the _Dive_Bouteille_. Thereafter they
searched no longer; but, abiding at their ease, were merry, frolic, jolly,
gay, glad, and wise; only that they always and ever did expect the awful
Coming of the Coqcigrues. Now concerning the day of that coming, and the
nature of them that should come, they knew nothing; and for his part Panurge
was all the more adread, as Aristotle testifieth that men (and Panurge above
others) most fear that which they know least. Now it chanced one day, as they
sat at meat, with viands rare, dainty, and precious as ever Apicius dreamed
of, that there fluttered on the air a faint sound as of sermons, speeches,
orations, addresses, discourses, lectures, and the like; whereat Panurge,
pricking up his ears, cried, 'Methinks this wind bloweth from Midlothian,' and
so fell a trembling.

Next, to their aural orifices, and the avenues audient of the brain, was borne
a very melancholy sound as of harmoniums, hymns, organ-pianos, psalteries, and
the like, all playing different airs, in a kind most hateful to the Muses.
Then said Panurge, as well as he might for the chattering of his teeth: 'May I
never drink if here come not the Coqcigrues!' and this saying and prophecy of
his was true and inspired. But thereon the others began to mock, flout, and
gird at Panurge for his cowardice. ' Here am I! ' cried Brother John, '
well-armed and ready to stand a siege; being entrenched, fortified, hemmed-in
and surrounded with great pasties, huge pieces of salted beef, salads,
fricassees, hams, tongues, pies, and a wilderness of pleasant little tarts,
jellies, pastries, trifles, and fruits of all kinds, and I shall not thirst
while I have good wells, founts, springs, and sources of Bordeaux wine,
Burgundy, wine of the Champagne country, sack and Canary. A fig for thy
Coqcigrues!']

But even as he spoke there ran up suddenly a whole legion, or rather army, of
physicians, each armed with