Act II. Scene II - Page 2

CAPHIS
Stay, stay, here comes the fool with Apemantus:
let's ha' some sport with 'em.
Varro's Servant Hang him, he'll abuse us.
Isidore's Servant A plague upon him, dog!
Varro's Servant How dost, fool?

APEMANTUS
Dost dialogue with thy shadow?
Varro's Servant I speak not to thee.

APEMANTUS
No,'tis to thyself.

To the Fool

Come away.
Isidore's Servant There's the fool hangs on your back already.

APEMANTUS
No, thou stand'st single, thou'rt not on him yet.

CAPHIS
Where's the fool now?

APEMANTUS
He last asked the question. Poor rogues, and
usurers' men! bawds between gold and want!

All Servants
What are we, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS
Asses.

All Servants
Why?

APEMANTUS
That you ask me what you are, and do not know
yourselves. Speak to 'em, fool.

Fool
How do you, gentlemen?

All Servants
Gramercies, good fool: how does your mistress?

Fool
She's e'en setting on water to scald such chickens
as you are. Would we could see you at Corinth!

APEMANTUS
Good! gramercy.

Enter Page

Fool
Look you, here comes my mistress' page.

Page
[To the Fool] Why, how now, captain! what do you
in this wise company? How dost thou, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS
Would I had a rod in my mouth, that I might answer
thee profitably.

Page
Prithee, Apemantus, read me the superscription of
these letters: I know not which is which.

APEMANTUS
Canst not read?

Page
No.

APEMANTUS
There will little learning die then, that day thou
art hanged. This is to Lord Timon; this to
Alcibiades. Go; thou wast born a bastard, and thou't
die a bawd.

Page
Thou wast whelped a dog, and thou shalt famish a
dog's death. Answer not; I am gone.

Exit

APEMANTUS
E'en so thou outrunnest grace. Fool, I will go with
you to Lord Timon's.

Fool
Will you leave me there?

APEMANTUS
If Timon stay at home. You three serve three usurers?

All Servants
Ay; would they served us!

APEMANTUS
So would I,--as good a trick as ever hangman served thief.

Fool
Are you three usurers' men?

All Servants
Ay, fool.

Fool
I think no usurer but has a fool to his servant: my
mistress is one, and I am her fool. When men come
to borrow of your masters, they approach sadly, and
go away merry; but they enter my mistress' house
merrily, and go away sadly: the reason of this?
Varro's Servant I could render one.

APEMANTUS
Do it then, that we may account thee a whoremaster
and a knave;