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"Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day."
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Act V. Scene I - Page 2
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And bear it from me to the empress.
If thou do this, I'll show thee wondrous things,
That highly may advantage thee to hear:
If thou wilt not, befall what may befall,
I'll speak no more but 'Vengeance rot you all!'
LUCIUS
Say on: an if it please me which thou speak'st
Thy child shall live, and I will see it nourish'd.
AARON
An if it please thee! why, assure thee, Lucius,
'Twill vex thy soul to hear what I shall speak;
For I must talk of murders, rapes and massacres,
Acts of black night, abominable deeds,
Complots of mischief, treason, villanies
Ruthful to hear, yet piteously perform'd:
And this shall all be buried by my death,
Unless thou swear to me my child shall live.
LUCIUS
Tell on thy mind; I say thy child shall live.
AARON
Swear that he shall, and then I will begin.
LUCIUS
Who should I swear by? thou believest no god:
That granted, how canst thou believe an oath?
AARON
What if I do not? as, indeed, I do not;
Yet, for I know thou art religious
And hast a thing within thee called conscience,
With twenty popish tricks and ceremonies,
Which I have seen thee careful to observe,
Therefore I urge thy oath; for that I know
An idiot holds his bauble for a god
And keeps the oath which by that god he swears,
To that I'll urge him: therefore thou shalt vow
By that same god, what god soe'er it be,
That thou adorest and hast in reverence,
To save my boy, to nourish and bring him up;
Or else I will discover nought to thee.
LUCIUS
Even by my god I swear to thee I will.
AARON
First know thou, I begot him on the empress.
LUCIUS
O most insatiate and luxurious woman!
AARON
Tut, Lucius, this was but a deed of charity
To that which thou shalt hear of me anon.
'Twas her two sons that murder'd Bassianus;
They cut thy sister's tongue and ravish'd her
And cut her hands and trimm'd her as thou saw'st.
LUCIUS
O detestable villain! call'st thou that trimming?
AARON
Why, she was wash'd and cut and trimm'd, and 'twas
Trim sport for them that had the doing of it.
LUCIUS
O barbarous, beastly villains, like thyself!
AARON
Indeed, I was their tutor to instruct them:
That codding spirit had they from their mother,
As sure a card as ever won the set;
That bloody mind, I think, they learn'd of me,
As true a dog as ever fought at head.
Well, let my deeds be witness of my worth.
I train'd thy brethren to that guileful hole
Where the dead corpse of Bassianus lay:
I wrote the letter that thy father found
And hid the gold within the letter mention'd,
Confederate with the queen and her two
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