Act 2. Scene I

SCENE I. Rochester. An inn yard.

Enter a Carrier with a lantern in his hand
First Carrier
Heigh-ho! an it be not four by the day, I'll be
hanged: Charles' wain is over the new chimney, and
yet our horse not packed. What, ostler!

Ostler
[Within] Anon, anon.

First Carrier
I prithee, Tom, beat Cut's saddle, put a few flocks
in the point; poor jade, is wrung in the withers out
of all cess.

Enter another Carrier

Second Carrier
Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that
is the next way to give poor jades the bots: this
house is turned upside down since Robin Ostler died.

First Carrier
Poor fellow, never joyed since the price of oats
rose; it was the death of him.

Second Carrier
I think this be the most villanous house in all
London road for fleas: I am stung like a tench.

First Carrier
Like a tench! by the mass, there is ne'er a king
christen could be better bit than I have been since
the first cock.

Second Carrier
Why, they will allow us ne'er a jordan, and then we
leak in your chimney; and your chamber-lie breeds
fleas like a loach.

First Carrier
What, ostler! come away and be hanged!

Second Carrier
I have a gammon of bacon and two razors of ginger,
to be delivered as far as Charing-cross.

First Carrier
God's body! the turkeys in my pannier are quite
starved. What, ostler! A plague on thee! hast thou
never an eye in thy head? canst not hear? An
'twere not as good deed as drink, to break the pate
on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hanged!
hast thou no faith in thee?

Enter GADSHILL

GADSHILL
Good morrow, carriers. What's o'clock?

First Carrier
I think it be two o'clock.

GADSHILL
I pray thee lend me thy lantern, to see my gelding
in the stable.

First Carrier
Nay, by God, soft; I know a trick worth two of that, i' faith.

GADSHILL
I pray thee, lend me thine.

Second Carrier
Ay, when? can'st tell? Lend me thy lantern, quoth
he? marry, I'll see thee hanged first.

GADSHILL
Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?

Second Carrier
Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant
thee. Come, neighbour Mugs, we'll call up the
gentleman: they will along with company, for they
have great charge.

Exeunt carriers

GADSHILL
What, ho! chamberlain!

Chamberlain
[Within] At hand, quoth pick-purse.

GADSHILL
That's even as fair as--at hand, quoth the
chamberlain; for thou variest no more from picking
of purses than giving direction doth from labouring;
thou layest the plot how.