Act 2. Scene I

SCENE I. London. A street.

Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, FANG and his Boy with her, and SNARE following.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Master Fang, have you entered the action?

FANG
It is entered.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Where's your yeoman? Is't a lusty yeoman? will a'
stand to 't?

FANG
Sirrah, where's Snare?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
O Lord, ay! good Master Snare.

SNARE
Here, here.

FANG
Snare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Yea, good Master Snare; I have entered him and all.

SNARE
It may chance cost some of us our lives, for he will stab.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Alas the day! take heed of him; he stabbed me in
mine own house, and that most beastly: in good
faith, he cares not what mischief he does. If his
weapon be out: he will foin like any devil; he will
spare neither man, woman, nor child.

FANG
If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
No, nor I neither: I'll be at your elbow.

FANG
An I but fist him once; an a' come but within my vice,--

MISTRESS QUICKLY
I am undone by his going; I warrant you, he's an
infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master Fang,
hold him sure: good Master Snare, let him not
'scape. A' comes continuantly to Pie-corner--saving
your manhoods--to buy a saddle; and he is indited to
dinner to the Lubber's-head in Lumbert street, to
Master Smooth's the silkman: I pray ye, since my
exion is entered and my case so openly known to the
world, let him be brought in to his answer. A
hundred mark is a long one for a poor lone woman to
bear: and I have borne, and borne, and borne, and
have been fubbed off, and fubbed off, and fubbed
off, from this day to that day, that it is a shame
to be thought on. There is no honesty in such
dealing; unless a woman should be made an ass and a
beast, to bear every knave's wrong. Yonder he
comes; and that errant malmsey-nose knave, Bardolph,
with him. Do your offices, do your offices: Master
Fang and Master Snare, do me, do me, do me your offices.

Enter FALSTAFF, Page, and BARDOLPH

FALSTAFF
How now! whose mare's dead? what's the matter?

FANG
Sir John, I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly.

FALSTAFF
Away, varlets! Draw, Bardolph: cut me off the
villain's head: throw the quean in the channel.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Throw me in the channel! I'll throw thee in the
channel. Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly
rogue! Murder, murder! Ah, thou honeysuckle
villain! wilt thou kill God's officers and the
king's? Ah, thou honey-seed rogue! thou art a
honey-seed, a man-queller, and a woman-queller.