Act 2. Scene IV

SCENE IV. London. The Boar's-head Tavern in Eastcheap.

Enter two Drawers
First Drawer
What the devil hast thou brought there? apple-johns?
thou knowest Sir John cannot endure an apple-john.

Second Drawer
Mass, thou sayest true. The prince once set a dish
of apple-johns before him, and told him there were
five more Sir Johns, and, putting off his hat, said
'I will now take my leave of these six dry, round,
old, withered knights.' It angered him to the
heart: but he hath forgot that.

First Drawer
Why, then, cover, and set them down: and see if
thou canst find out Sneak's noise; Mistress
Tearsheet would fain hear some music. Dispatch: the
room where they supped is too hot; they'll come in straight.

Second Drawer
Sirrah, here will be the prince and Master Poins
anon; and they will put on two of our jerkins and
aprons; and Sir John must not know of it: Bardolph
hath brought word.

First Drawer
By the mass, here will be old Utis: it will be an
excellent stratagem.

Second Drawer
I'll see if I can find out Sneak.

Exit

Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET

MISTRESS QUICKLY
I' faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an
excellent good temperality: your pulsidge beats as
extraordinarily as heart would desire; and your
colour, I warrant you, is as red as any rose, in good
truth, la! But, i' faith, you have drunk too much
canaries; and that's a marvellous searching wine,
and it perfumes the blood ere one can say 'What's
this?' How do you now?

DOLL TEARSHEET
Better than I was: hem!

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Why, that's well said; a good heart's worth gold.
Lo, here comes Sir John.

Enter FALSTAFF

FALSTAFF
[Singing] 'When Arthur first in court,'
--Empty the jordan.

Exit First Drawer

Singing

--'And was a worthy king.' How now, Mistress Doll!

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Sick of a calm; yea, good faith.

FALSTAFF
So is all her sect; an they be once in a calm, they are sick.

DOLL TEARSHEET
You muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you give me?

FALSTAFF
You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.

DOLL TEARSHEET
I make them! gluttony and diseases make them; I
make them not.

FALSTAFF
If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to
make the diseases, Doll: we catch of you, Doll, we
catch of you; grant that, my poor virtue grant that.

DOLL TEARSHEET
Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.

FALSTAFF
'Your broaches, pearls, and ouches:' for to serve
bravely is to come halting off, you know: to come
off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to
surgery