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    Act 1, Scene II

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    Chapter 2
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    SCENE II. Lawn before the Duke's palace.

    Enter CELIA and ROSALIND
    CELIA
    I pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry.

    ROSALIND
    Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of;
    and would you yet I were merrier? Unless you could
    teach me to forget a banished father, you must not
    learn me how to remember any extraordinary pleasure.

    CELIA
    Herein I see thou lovest me not with the full weight
    that I love thee. If my uncle, thy banished father,
    had banished thy uncle, the duke my father, so thou
    hadst been still with me, I could have taught my
    love to take thy father for mine: so wouldst thou,
    if the truth of thy love to me were so righteously
    tempered as mine is to thee.

    ROSALIND
    Well, I will forget the condition of my estate, to
    rejoice in yours.

    CELIA
    You know my father hath no child but I, nor none is
    like to have: and, truly, when he dies, thou shalt
    be his heir, for what he hath taken away from thy
    father perforce, I will render thee again in
    affection; by mine honour, I will; and when I break
    that oath, let me turn monster: therefore, my
    sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be merry.

    ROSALIND
    From henceforth I will, coz, and devise sports. Let
    me see; what think you of falling in love?

    CELIA
    Marry, I prithee, do, to make sport withal: but
    love no man in good earnest; nor no further in sport
    neither than with safety of a pure blush thou mayst
    in honour come off again.

    ROSALIND
    What shall be our sport, then?

    CELIA
    Let us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune from
    her wheel, that her gifts may henceforth be bestowed equally.

    ROSALIND
    I would we could do so, for her benefits are
    mightily misplaced, and the bountiful blind woman
    doth most mistake in her gifts to women.

    CELIA
    'Tis true; for those that she makes fair she scarce
    makes honest, and those that she makes honest she
    makes very ill-favouredly.

    ROSALIND
    Nay, now thou goest from Fortune's office to
    Nature's: Fortune reigns in gifts of the world,
    not in the lineaments of Nature.

    Enter TOUCHSTONE

    CELIA
    No? when Nature hath made a fair creature, may she
    not by Fortune fall into the fire? Though Nature
    hath given us wit to flout at Fortune, hath not
    Fortune sent in this fool to cut off the argument?

    ROSALIND
    Indeed, there is Fortune too hard for Nature, when
    Fortune makes Nature's natural the cutter-off of
    Nature's wit.

    CELIA
    Peradventure this is not Fortune's work neither, but
    Nature's; who perceiveth our natural wits too dull
    to reason of such goddesses and hath sent this
    natural for our whetstone; for always the dulness of
    the fool is the whetstone of the wits. How now,
    wit! whither wander you?

    TOUCHSTONE
    Mistress, you must come away to your father.

    CELIA
    Were you made the messenger?

    TOUCHSTONE
    No, by mine honour, but I was bid to come for you.

    ROSALIND
    Where learned you that oath, fool?

    TOUCHSTONE
    Of a certain knight that swore by his honour they
    were good pancakes and swore by his honour the
    mustard was naught: now I'll stand to it, the
    pancakes were naught and the mustard was good, and
    yet was not the knight forsworn.

    CELIA
    How prove you that, in the great heap of your
    knowledge?

    ROSALIND
    Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.

    TOUCHSTONE
    Stand you both forth now: stroke your chins, and
    swear by your beards that I am a knave.

    CELIA
    By our beards, if we had them, thou art.

    TOUCHSTONE
    By my knavery, if I had it, then I were; but if you
    swear by that that is not, you are not forsworn: no
    more was this knight swearing by his honour, for he
    never had any; or if he had, he had sworn it away
    before ever he saw those pancakes or that mustard.

    CELIA
    Prithee, who is't that thou meanest?

    TOUCHSTONE
    One that old Frederick, your father, loves.

    CELIA
    My father's love is enough to honour him: enough!
    speak no more of him; you'll be whipped for taxation
    one of these days.

    TOUCHSTONE
    The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what
    wise men do foolishly.

    CELIA
    By my troth, thou sayest true; for since the little
    wit that fools have was silenced, the little foolery
    that wise men have makes a great show. Here comes
    Monsieur Le Beau.

    ROSALIND
    With his mouth full of news.

    CELIA
    Which he will put on us, as pigeons feed their young.

    ROSALIND
    Then shall we be news-crammed.

    CELIA
    All the better; we shall be the more marketable.

    Enter LE BEAU

    Bon jour, Monsieur Le Beau: what's the news?

    LE BEAU
    Fair princess, you have lost much good sport.

    CELIA
    Sport! of what colour?

    LE BEAU
    What colour, madam! how shall I answer you?

    ROSALIND
    As wit and fortune will.

    TOUCHSTONE
    Or as the Destinies decree.

    CELIA
    Well said: that was laid on with a trowel.

    TOUCHSTONE
    Nay, if I keep not my rank,--

    ROSALIND
    Thou losest thy old smell.

    LE BEAU
    You amaze me, ladies: I would have told you of good
    wrestling, which you have lost the sight of.

    ROSALIND
    You tell us the manner of the wrestling.

    LE BEAU
    I will tell you the beginning; and, if it please
    your ladyships, you may see the end; for the best is
    yet to do; and here, where you are, they are coming
    to perform it.

    CELIA
    Well, the beginning, that is dead and buried.

    LE BEAU
    There comes an old man and his three sons,--

    CELIA
    I could match this beginning with an old tale.

    LE BEAU
    Three proper young men, of excellent growth and presence.

    ROSALIND
    With bills on their necks, 'Be it known unto all men
    by these presents.'

    LE BEAU
    The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the
    duke's wrestler; which Charles in a moment threw him
    and broke three of his ribs, that there is little
    hope of life in him: so he served the second, and
    so the third. Yonder they lie; the poor old man,
    their father, making such pitiful dole over them
    that all the beholders take his part with weeping.

    ROSALIND
    Alas!

    TOUCHSTONE
    But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies
    have lost?

    LE BEAU
    Why, this that I speak of.

    TOUCHSTONE
    Thus men may grow wiser every day: it is the first
    time that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sport
    for ladies.

    CELIA
    Or I, I promise thee.

    ROSALIND
    But is there any else longs to see this broken music
    in his sides? is there yet another dotes upon
    rib-breaking? Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?

    LE BEAU
    You must, if you stay here; for here is the place
    appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to
    perform it.

    CELIA
    Yonder, sure, they are coming: let us now stay and see it.

    Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, Lords, ORLANDO, CHARLES, and Attendants

    DUKE FREDERICK
    Come on: since the youth will not be entreated, his
    own peril on his forwardness.

    ROSALIND
    Is yonder the man?

    LE BEAU
    Even he, madam.

    CELIA
    Alas, he is too young! yet he looks successfully.

    DUKE FREDERICK
    How now, daughter and cousin! are you crept hither
    to see the wrestling?

    ROSALIND
    Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave.

    DUKE FREDERICK
    You will take little delight in it, I can tell you;
    there is such odds in the man. In pity of the
    challenger's youth I would fain dissuade him, but he
    will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if
    you can move him.

    CELIA
    Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.

    DUKE FREDERICK
    Do so: I'll not be by.

    LE BEAU
    Monsieur the challenger, the princesses call for you.

    ORLANDO
    I attend them with all respect and duty.

    ROSALIND
    Young man, have you challenged Charles the wrestler?

    ORLANDO
    No, fair princess; he is the general challenger: I
    come but in, as others do, to try with him the
    strength of my youth.

    CELIA
    Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your
    years. You have seen cruel proof of this man's
    strength: if you saw yourself with your eyes or
    knew yourself with your judgment, the fear of your
    adventure would counsel you to a more equal
    enterprise. We pray you, for your own sake, to
    embrace your own safety and give over this attempt.

    ROSALIND
    Do, young sir; your reputation shall not therefore
    be misprised: we will make it our suit to the duke
    that the wrestling might not go forward.

    ORLANDO
    I beseech you, punish me not with your hard
    thoughts; wherein I confess me much guilty, to deny
    so fair and excellent ladies any thing. But let
    your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my
    trial: wherein if I be foiled, there is but one
    shamed that was never gracious; if killed, but one
    dead that was willing to be so: I shall do my
    friends no wrong, for I have none to lament me, the
    world no injury, for in it I have nothing; only in
    the world I fill up a place, which may be better
    supplied when I have made it empty.

    ROSALIND
    The little strength that I have, I would it were with you.

    CELIA
    And mine, to eke out hers.

    ROSALIND
    Fare you well: pray heaven I be deceived in you!

    CELIA
    Your heart's desires be with you!

    CHARLES
    Come, where is this young gallant that is so
    desirous to lie with his mother earth?

    ORLANDO
    Ready, sir; but his will hath in it a more modest working.

    DUKE FREDERICK
    You shall try but one fall.

    CHARLES
    No, I warrant your grace, you shall not entreat him
    to a second, that have so mightily persuaded him
    from a first.

    ORLANDO
    An you mean to mock me after, you should not have
    mocked me before: but come your ways.

    ROSALIND
    Now Hercules be thy speed, young man!

    CELIA
    I would I were invisible, to catch the strong
    fellow by the leg.

    They wrestle

    ROSALIND
    O excellent young man!

    CELIA
    If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who
    should down.

    Shout. CHARLES is thrown

    DUKE FREDERICK
    No more, no more.

    ORLANDO
    Yes, I beseech your grace: I am not yet well breathed.

    DUKE FREDERICK
    How dost thou, Charles?

    LE BEAU
    He cannot speak, my lord.

    DUKE FREDERICK
    Bear him away. What is thy name, young man?

    ORLANDO
    Orlando, my liege; the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys.

    DUKE FREDERICK
    I would thou hadst been son to some man else:
    The world esteem'd thy father honourable,
    But I did find him still mine enemy:
    Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this deed,
    Hadst thou descended from another house.
    But fare thee well; thou art a gallant youth:
    I would thou hadst told me of another father.

    Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK, train, and LE BEAU

    CELIA
    Were I my father, coz, would I do this?

    ORLANDO
    I am more proud to be Sir Rowland's son,
    His youngest son; and would not change that calling,
    To be adopted heir to Frederick.

    ROSALIND
    My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul,
    And all the world was of my father's mind:
    Had I before known this young man his son,
    I should have given him tears unto entreaties,
    Ere he should thus have ventured.

    CELIA
    Gentle cousin,
    Let us go thank him and encourage him:
    My father's rough and envious disposition
    Sticks me at heart. Sir, you have well deserved:
    If you do keep your promises in love
    But justly, as you have exceeded all promise,
    Your mistress shall be happy.

    ROSALIND
    Gentleman,

    Giving him a chain from her neck

    Wear this for me, one out of suits with fortune,
    That could give more, but that her hand lacks means.
    Shall we go, coz?

    CELIA
    Ay. Fare you well, fair gentleman.

    ORLANDO
    Can I not say, I thank you? My better parts
    Are all thrown down, and that which here stands up
    Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block.

    ROSALIND
    He calls us back: my pride fell with my fortunes;
    I'll ask him what he would. Did you call, sir?
    Sir, you have wrestled well and overthrown
    More than your enemies.

    CELIA
    Will you go, coz?

    ROSALIND
    Have with you. Fare you well.

    Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA

    ORLANDO
    What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?
    I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference.
    O poor Orlando, thou art overthrown!
    Or Charles or something weaker masters thee.

    Re-enter LE BEAU

    LE BEAU
    Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you
    To leave this place. Albeit you have deserved
    High commendation, true applause and love,
    Yet such is now the duke's condition
    That he misconstrues all that you have done.
    The duke is humorous; what he is indeed,
    More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.

    ORLANDO
    I thank you, sir: and, pray you, tell me this:
    Which of the two was daughter of the duke
    That here was at the wrestling?

    LE BEAU
    Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners;
    But yet indeed the lesser is his daughter
    The other is daughter to the banish'd duke,
    And here detain'd by her usurping uncle,
    To keep his daughter company; whose loves
    Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters.
    But I can tell you that of late this duke
    Hath ta'en displeasure 'gainst his gentle niece,
    Grounded upon no other argument
    But that the people praise her for her virtues
    And pity her for her good father's sake;
    And, on my life, his malice 'gainst the lady
    Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well:
    Hereafter, in a better world than this,
    I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.

    ORLANDO
    I rest much bounden to you: fare you well.

    Exit LE BEAU

    Thus must I from the smoke into the smother;
    From tyrant duke unto a tyrant brother:
    But heavenly Rosalind!

    Exit
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