Act 2, Scene II - Page 2

the why and the wherefore is neither rhyme
nor reason?
Well, sir, I thank you.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
Thank me, sir, for what?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Marry, sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
I'll make you amends next, to give you nothing for
something. But say, sir, is it dinner-time?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
No, sir; I think the meat wants that I have.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
In good time, sir; what's that?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Basting.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
Well, sir, then 'twill be dry.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
If it be, sir, I pray you, eat none of it.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
Your reason?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Lest it make you choleric and purchase me another
dry basting.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
Well, sir, learn to jest in good time: there's a
time for all things.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I durst have denied that, before you were so choleric.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
By what rule, sir?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald
pate of father Time himself.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
Let's hear it.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
There's no time for a man to recover his hair that
grows bald by nature.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
May he not do it by fine and recovery?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig and recover the
lost hair of another man.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is,
so plentiful an excrement?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts;
and what he hath scanted men in hair he hath given them in wit.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
Why, but there's many a man hath more hair than wit.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lose his hair.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
The plainer dealer, the sooner lost: yet he loseth
it in a kind of jollity.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
For what reason?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
For two; and sound ones too.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
Nay, not sound, I pray you.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Sure ones, then.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Certain ones then.
ANTIPHOLUS

OF SYRACUSE
Name them.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
The one, to save the money that he spends in
trimming; the other, that at dinner they should not