Act 5, Scene I - Page 2

quis, thou consonant?

MOTH
The third of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or
the fifth, if I.

HOLOFERNES
I will repeat them,--a, e, i,--

MOTH
The sheep: the other two concludes it,--o, u.
DON

ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet
touch, a quick venue of wit! snip, snap, quick and
home! it rejoiceth my intellect: true wit!

MOTH
Offered by a child to an old man; which is wit-old.

HOLOFERNES
What is the figure? what is the figure?

MOTH
Horns.

HOLOFERNES
Thou disputest like an infant: go, whip thy gig.

MOTH
Lend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about
your infamy circum circa,--a gig of a cuckold's horn.

COSTARD
An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst
have it to buy gingerbread: hold, there is the very
remuneration I had of thy master, thou halfpenny
purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg of discretion. O, an
the heavens were so pleased that thou wert but my
bastard, what a joyful father wouldst thou make me!
Go to; thou hast it ad dunghill, at the fingers'
ends, as they say.

HOLOFERNES
O, I smell false Latin; dunghill for unguem.
DON

ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Arts-man, preambulate, we will be singled from the
barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the
charge-house on the top of the mountain?

HOLOFERNES
Or mons, the hill.
DON

ADRIANO DE ARMADO
At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.

HOLOFERNES
I do, sans question.
DON

ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure and
affection to congratulate the princess at her
pavilion in the posteriors of this day, which the
rude multitude call the afternoon.

HOLOFERNES
The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is
liable, congruent and measurable for the afternoon:
the word is well culled, chose, sweet and apt, I do
assure you, sir, I do assure.
DON

ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Sir, the king is a noble gentleman, and my familiar,
I do assure ye, very good friend: for what is
inward between us, let it pass. I do beseech thee,
remember thy courtesy; I beseech thee, apparel thy
head: and among other important and most serious
designs, and of great import indeed, too, but let
that pass: for I must tell thee, it will please his
grace, by the world, sometime to lean upon my poor
shoulder, and with his royal finger, thus, dally
with my excrement, with my mustachio; but, sweet
heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no
fable: some certain special honours it pleaseth his
greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of
travel, that hath seen the world;