Act 1, Scene II

SCENE II. A Street.

Enter LUCIO and two Gentlemen
LUCIO
If the duke with the other dukes come not to
composition with the King of Hungary, why then all
the dukes fall upon the king.

First Gentleman
Heaven grant us its peace, but not the King of
Hungary's!

Second Gentleman
Amen.

LUCIO
Thou concludest like the sanctimonious pirate, that
went to sea with the Ten Commandments, but scraped
one out of the table.

Second Gentleman
'Thou shalt not steal'?

LUCIO
Ay, that he razed.

First Gentleman
Why, 'twas a commandment to command the captain and
all the rest from their functions: they put forth
to steal. There's not a soldier of us all, that, in
the thanksgiving before meat, do relish the petition
well that prays for peace.

Second Gentleman
I never heard any soldier dislike it.

LUCIO
I believe thee; for I think thou never wast where
grace was said.

Second Gentleman
No? a dozen times at least.

First Gentleman
What, in metre?

LUCIO
In any proportion or in any language.

First Gentleman
I think, or in any religion.

LUCIO
Ay, why not? Grace is grace, despite of all
controversy: as, for example, thou thyself art a
wicked villain, despite of all grace.

First Gentleman
Well, there went but a pair of shears between us.

LUCIO
I grant; as there may between the lists and the
velvet. Thou art the list.

First Gentleman
And thou the velvet: thou art good velvet; thou'rt
a three-piled piece, I warrant thee: I had as lief
be a list of an English kersey as be piled, as thou
art piled, for a French velvet. Do I speak
feelingly now?

LUCIO
I think thou dost; and, indeed, with most painful
feeling of thy speech: I will, out of thine own
confession, learn to begin thy health; but, whilst I
live, forget to drink after thee.

First Gentleman
I think I have done myself wrong, have I not?

Second Gentleman
Yes, that thou hast, whether thou art tainted or free.

LUCIO
Behold, behold. where Madam Mitigation comes! I
have purchased as many diseases under her roof as come to--

Second Gentleman
To what, I pray?

LUCIO
Judge.

Second Gentleman
To three thousand dolours a year.

First Gentleman
Ay, and more.

LUCIO
A French crown more.

First Gentleman
Thou art always figuring diseases in me; but thou
art full of error; I am sound.

LUCIO
Nay, not as one would say, healthy; but so sound as
things that are hollow: thy bones are hollow;
impiety has made a feast of thee.