Act 4, Scene II

SCENE II. A room in the prison.

Enter Provost and POMPEY
Provost
Come hither, sirrah. Can you cut off a man's head?

POMPEY
If the man be a bachelor, sir, I can; but if he be a
married man, he's his wife's head, and I can never
cut off a woman's head.

Provost
Come, sir, leave me your snatches, and yield me a
direct answer. To-morrow morning are to die Claudio
and Barnardine. Here is in our prison a common
executioner, who in his office lacks a helper: if
you will take it on you to assist him, it shall
redeem you from your gyves; if not, you shall have
your full time of imprisonment and your deliverance
with an unpitied whipping, for you have been a
notorious bawd.

POMPEY
Sir, I have been an unlawful bawd time out of mind;
but yet I will be content to be a lawful hangman. I
would be glad to receive some instruction from my
fellow partner.

Provost
What, ho! Abhorson! Where's Abhorson, there?

Enter ABHORSON

ABHORSON
Do you call, sir?

Provost
Sirrah, here's a fellow will help you to-morrow in
your execution. If you think it meet, compound with
him by the year, and let him abide here with you; if
not, use him for the present and dismiss him. He
cannot plead his estimation with you; he hath been a bawd.

ABHORSON
A bawd, sir? fie upon him! he will discredit our mystery.

Provost
Go to, sir; you weigh equally; a feather will turn
the scale.

Exit

POMPEY
Pray, sir, by your good favour,--for surely, sir, a
good favour you have, but that you have a hanging
look,--do you call, sir, your occupation a mystery?

ABHORSON
Ay, sir; a mystery

POMPEY
Painting, sir, I have heard say, is a mystery; and
your whores, sir, being members of my occupation,
using painting, do prove my occupation a mystery:
but what mystery there should be in hanging, if I
should be hanged, I cannot imagine.

ABHORSON
Sir, it is a mystery.

POMPEY
Proof?

ABHORSON
Every true man's apparel fits your thief: if it be
too little for your thief, your true man thinks it
big enough; if it be too big for your thief, your
thief thinks it little enough: so every true man's
apparel fits your thief.

Re-enter Provost

Provost
Are you agreed?

POMPEY
Sir, I will serve him; for I do find your hangman is
a more penitent trade than your bawd; he doth
oftener ask forgiveness.

Provost
You, sirrah, provide your block and your axe
to-morrow four o'clock.

ABHORSON
Come on, bawd; I will instruct thee in my trade; follow.

POMPEY
I do desire to learn, sir: and I hope,