Act 2, Scene II

SCENE II. A room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FALSTAFF and PISTOL
FALSTAFF
I will not lend thee a penny.

PISTOL
Why, then the world's mine oyster.
Which I with sword will open.

FALSTAFF
Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should
lay my countenance to pawn; I have grated upon my
good friends for three reprieves for you and your
coach-fellow Nym; or else you had looked through
the grate, like a geminy of baboons. I am damned in
hell for swearing to gentlemen my friends, you were
good soldiers and tall fellows; and when Mistress
Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took't upon
mine honour thou hadst it not.

PISTOL
Didst not thou share? hadst thou not fifteen pence?

FALSTAFF
Reason, you rogue, reason: thinkest thou I'll
endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more
about me, I am no gibbet for you. Go. A short knife
and a throng! To your manor of Pickt-hatch! Go.
You'll not bear a letter for me, you rogue! you
stand upon your honour! Why, thou unconfinable
baseness, it is as much as I can do to keep the
terms of my honour precise: I, I, I myself
sometimes, leaving the fear of God on the left hand
and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to
shuffle, to hedge and to lurch; and yet you, rogue,
will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain
looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your
bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your
honour! You will not do it, you!

PISTOL
I do relent: what would thou more of man?

Enter ROBIN

ROBIN
Sir, here's a woman would speak with you.

FALSTAFF
Let her approach.

Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Give your worship good morrow.

FALSTAFF
Good morrow, good wife.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Not so, an't please your worship.

FALSTAFF
Good maid, then.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
I'll be sworn,
As my mother was, the first hour I was born.

FALSTAFF
I do believe the swearer. What with me?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?

FALSTAFF
Two thousand, fair woman: and I'll vouchsafe thee
the hearing.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
There is one Mistress Ford, sir:--I pray, come a
little nearer this ways:--I myself dwell with master
Doctor Caius,--

FALSTAFF
Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say,--

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Your worship says very true: I pray your worship,
come a little nearer this ways.

FALSTAFF
I warrant thee, nobody hears; mine own people, mine
own people.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Are they so? God bless them and make them his servants!

FALSTAFF
Well, Mistress Ford; what