Act 3, Scene III - Page 2

DOGBERRY
Truly, by your office, you may; but I think they
that touch pitch will be defiled: the most peaceable
way for you, if you do take a thief, is to let him
show himself what he is and steal out of your company.

VERGES
You have been always called a merciful man, partner.

DOGBERRY
Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more
a man who hath any honesty in him.

VERGES
If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call
to the nurse and bid her still it.

Watchman
How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us?

DOGBERRY
Why, then, depart in peace, and let the child wake
her with crying; for the ewe that will not hear her
lamb when it baes will never answer a calf when he bleats.

VERGES
'Tis very true.

DOGBERRY
This is the end of the charge:--you, constable, are
to present the prince's own person: if you meet the
prince in the night, you may stay him.

VERGES
Nay, by'r our lady, that I think a' cannot.

DOGBERRY
Five shillings to one on't, with any man that knows
the statutes, he may stay him: marry, not without
the prince be willing; for, indeed, the watch ought
to offend no man; and it is an offence to stay a
man against his will.

VERGES
By'r lady, I think it be so.

DOGBERRY
Ha, ha, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there be
any matter of weight chances, call up me: keep your
fellows' counsels and your own; and good night.
Come, neighbour.

Watchman
Well, masters, we hear our charge: let us go sit here
upon the church-bench till two, and then all to bed.

DOGBERRY
One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you watch
about Signior Leonato's door; for the wedding being
there to-morrow, there is a great coil to-night.
Adieu: be vigitant, I beseech you.

Exeunt DOGBERRY and VERGES

Enter BORACHIO and CONRADE

BORACHIO
What Conrade!

Watchman
[Aside] Peace! stir not.

BORACHIO
Conrade, I say!

CONRADE
Here, man; I am at thy elbow.

BORACHIO
Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought there would a
scab follow.

CONRADE
I will owe thee an answer for that: and now forward
with thy tale.

BORACHIO
Stand thee close, then, under this pent-house, for
it drizzles rain; and I will, like a true drunkard,
utter all to thee.

Watchman
[Aside] Some treason, masters: yet stand close.

BORACHIO
Therefore know I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.

CONRADE
Is it possible that any villany should be so dear?

BORACHIO
Thou shouldst rather ask if it were possible any
villany should be so rich;