Act 4, Scene I

SCENE I. PETRUCHIO'S country house.

Enter GRUMIO
GRUMIO
Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and
all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever
man so rayed? was ever man so weary? I am sent
before to make a fire, and they are coming after to
warm them. Now, were not I a little pot and soon
hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my
tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my
belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me: but
I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for,
considering the weather, a taller man than I will
take cold. Holla, ho! Curtis.

Enter CURTIS

CURTIS
Who is that calls so coldly?

GRUMIO
A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou mayst slide
from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run
but my head and my neck. A fire good Curtis.

CURTIS
Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?

GRUMIO
O, ay, Curtis, ay: and therefore fire, fire; cast
on no water.

CURTIS
Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported?

GRUMIO
She was, good Curtis, before this frost: but, thou
knowest, winter tames man, woman and beast; for it
hath tamed my old master and my new mistress and
myself, fellow Curtis.

CURTIS
Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.

GRUMIO
Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot; and
so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a
fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress,
whose hand, she being now at hand, thou shalt soon
feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office?

CURTIS
I prithee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world?

GRUMIO
A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and
therefore fire: do thy duty, and have thy duty; for
my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.

CURTIS
There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news.

GRUMIO
Why, 'Jack, boy! ho! boy!' and as much news as
will thaw.

CURTIS
Come, you are so full of cony-catching!

GRUMIO
Why, therefore fire; for I have caught extreme cold.
Where's the cook? is supper ready, the house
trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept; the
serving-men in their new fustian, their white
stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on?
Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without,
the carpets laid, and every thing in order?

CURTIS
All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news.

GRUMIO
First, know, my horse is tired; my master and
mistress fallen out.

CURTIS
How?

GRUMIO
Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby
hangs a tale.

CURTIS
Let's ha't, good Grumio.

GRUMIO