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"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew."
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Act 2, Scene I
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Enter AJAX and THERSITES
AJAX
Thersites!
THERSITES
Agamemnon, how if he had boils? full, all over,
generally?
AJAX
Thersites!
THERSITES
And those boils did run? say so: did not the
general run then? were not that a botchy core?
AJAX
Dog!
THERSITES
Then would come some matter from him; I see none now.
AJAX
Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not hear?
Beating him
Feel, then.
THERSITES
The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel
beef-witted lord!
AJAX
Speak then, thou vinewedst leaven, speak: I will
beat thee into handsomeness.
THERSITES
I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness: but,
I think, thy horse will sooner con an oration than
thou learn a prayer without book. Thou canst strike,
canst thou? a red murrain o' thy jade's tricks!
AJAX
Toadstool, learn me the proclamation.
THERSITES
Dost thou think I have no sense, thou strikest me thus?
AJAX
The proclamation!
THERSITES
Thou art proclaimed a fool, I think.
AJAX
Do not, porpentine, do not: my fingers itch.
THERSITES
I would thou didst itch from head to foot and I had
the scratching of thee; I would make thee the
loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou art forth in
the incursions, thou strikest as slow as another.
AJAX
I say, the proclamation!
THERSITES
Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles,
and thou art as full of envy at his greatness as
Cerberus is at Proserpine's beauty, ay, that thou
barkest at him.
AJAX
Mistress Thersites!
THERSITES
Thou shouldest strike him.
AJAX
Cobloaf!
THERSITES
He would pun thee into shivers with his fist, as a
sailor breaks a biscuit.
AJAX
[Beating him] You whoreson cur!
THERSITES
Do, do.
AJAX
Thou stool for a witch!
THERSITES
Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no
more brain than I have in mine elbows; an assinego
may tutor thee: thou scurvy-valiant ass! thou art
here but to thrash Trojans; and thou art bought and
sold among those of any wit, like a barbarian slave.
If thou use to beat me, I will begin at thy heel, and
tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no
bowels, thou!
AJAX
You dog!
THERSITES
You scurvy lord!
AJAX
[Beating him] You cur!
THERSITES
Mars his idiot! do, rudeness; do, camel; do, do.
Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS
ACHILLES
Why, how now, Ajax! wherefore do you thus? How now,
Thersites! what's the matter,
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