Act 2, Scene III - Page 2

PATROCLUS
You rascal!

THERSITES
Peace, fool! I have not done.

ACHILLES
He is a privileged man. Proceed, Thersites.

THERSITES
Agamemnon is a fool; Achilles is a fool; Thersites
is a fool, and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool.

ACHILLES
Derive this; come.

THERSITES
Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles;
Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon;
Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool, and
Patroclus is a fool positive.

PATROCLUS
Why am I a fool?

THERSITES
Make that demand of the prover. It suffices me thou
art. Look you, who comes here?

ACHILLES
Patroclus, I'll speak with nobody.
Come in with me, Thersites.

Exit

THERSITES
Here is such patchery, such juggling and such
knavery! all the argument is a cuckold and a
whore; a good quarrel to draw emulous factions
and bleed to death upon. Now, the dry serpigo on
the subject! and war and lechery confound all!

Exit

Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, DIOMEDES, and AJAX

AGAMEMNON
Where is Achilles?

PATROCLUS
Within his tent; but ill disposed, my lord.

AGAMEMNON
Let it be known to him that we are here.
He shent our messengers; and we lay by
Our appertainments, visiting of him:
Let him be told so; lest perchance he think
We dare not move the question of our place,
Or know not what we are.

PATROCLUS
I shall say so to him.

Exit

ULYSSES
We saw him at the opening of his tent:
He is not sick.

AJAX
Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart: you may call it
melancholy, if you will favour the man; but, by my
head, 'tis pride: but why, why? let him show us the
cause. A word, my lord.

Takes AGAMEMNON aside

NESTOR
What moves Ajax thus to bay at him?

ULYSSES
Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him.

NESTOR
Who, Thersites?

ULYSSES
He.

NESTOR
Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost his argument.

ULYSSES
No, you see, he is his argument that has his
argument, Achilles.

NESTOR
All the better; their fraction is more our wish than
their faction: but it was a strong composure a fool
could disunite.

ULYSSES
The amity that wisdom knits not, folly may easily
untie. Here comes Patroclus.

Re-enter PATROCLUS

NESTOR
No Achilles with him.

ULYSSES
The elephant hath joints, but none for courtesy:
his legs are legs for necessity, not for flexure.

PATROCLUS
Achilles bids me say, he is much sorry,
If any thing more than your sport and pleasure
Did move your greatness and