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    Act 3, Scene I

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    Chapter 7
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    SCENE I. Troy. Priam's palace.

    Enter a Servant and PANDARUS
    PANDARUS
    Friend, you! pray you, a word: do not you follow
    the young Lord Paris?

    Servant
    Ay, sir, when he goes before me.

    PANDARUS
    You depend upon him, I mean?

    Servant
    Sir, I do depend upon the lord.

    PANDARUS
    You depend upon a noble gentleman; I must needs
    praise him.

    Servant
    The lord be praised!

    PANDARUS
    You know me, do you not?

    Servant
    Faith, sir, superficially.

    PANDARUS
    Friend, know me better; I am the Lord Pandarus.

    Servant
    I hope I shall know your honour better.

    PANDARUS
    I do desire it.

    Servant
    You are in the state of grace.

    PANDARUS
    Grace! not so, friend: honour and lordship are my titles.

    Music within

    What music is this?

    Servant
    I do but partly know, sir: it is music in parts.

    PANDARUS
    Know you the musicians?

    Servant
    Wholly, sir.

    PANDARUS
    Who play they to?

    Servant
    To the hearers, sir.

    PANDARUS
    At whose pleasure, friend

    Servant
    At mine, sir, and theirs that love music.

    PANDARUS
    Command, I mean, friend.

    Servant
    Who shall I command, sir?

    PANDARUS
    Friend, we understand not one another: I am too
    courtly and thou art too cunning. At whose request
    do these men play?

    Servant
    That's to 't indeed, sir: marry, sir, at the request
    of Paris my lord, who's there in person; with him,
    the mortal Venus, the heart-blood of beauty, love's
    invisible soul,--

    PANDARUS
    Who, my cousin Cressida?

    Servant
    No, sir, Helen: could you not find out that by her
    attributes?

    PANDARUS
    It should seem, fellow, that thou hast not seen the
    Lady Cressida. I come to speak with Paris from the
    Prince Troilus: I will make a complimental assault
    upon him, for my business seethes.

    Servant
    Sodden business! there's a stewed phrase indeed!

    Enter PARIS and HELEN, attended

    PANDARUS
    Fair be to you, my lord, and to all this fair
    company! fair desires, in all fair measure,
    fairly guide them! especially to you, fair queen!
    fair thoughts be your fair pillow!

    HELEN
    Dear lord, you are full of fair words.

    PANDARUS
    You speak your fair pleasure, sweet queen. Fair
    prince, here is good broken music.

    PARIS
    You have broke it, cousin: and, by my life, you
    shall make it whole again; you shall piece it out
    with a piece of your performance. Nell, he is full
    of harmony.

    PANDARUS
    Truly, lady, no.

    HELEN
    O, sir,--

    PANDARUS
    Rude, in sooth; in good sooth, very rude.

    PARIS
    Well said, my lord! well, you say so in fits.

    PANDARUS
    I have business to my lord, dear queen. My lord,
    will you vouchsafe me a word?

    HELEN
    Nay, this shall not hedge us out: we'll hear you
    sing, certainly.

    PANDARUS
    Well, sweet queen. you are pleasant with me. But,
    marry, thus, my lord: my dear lord and most esteemed
    friend, your brother Troilus,--

    HELEN
    My Lord Pandarus; honey-sweet lord,--

    PANDARUS
    Go to, sweet queen, to go:--commends himself most
    affectionately to you,--

    HELEN
    You shall not bob us out of our melody: if you do,
    our melancholy upon your head!

    PANDARUS
    Sweet queen, sweet queen! that's a sweet queen, i' faith.

    HELEN
    And to make a sweet lady sad is a sour offence.

    PANDARUS
    Nay, that shall not serve your turn; that shall not,
    in truth, la. Nay, I care not for such words; no,
    no. And, my lord, he desires you, that if the king
    call for him at supper, you will make his excuse.

    HELEN
    My Lord Pandarus,--

    PANDARUS
    What says my sweet queen, my very very sweet queen?

    PARIS
    What exploit's in hand? where sups he to-night?

    HELEN
    Nay, but, my lord,--

    PANDARUS
    What says my sweet queen? My cousin will fall out
    with you. You must not know where he sups.

    PARIS
    I'll lay my life, with my disposer Cressida.

    PANDARUS
    No, no, no such matter; you are wide: come, your
    disposer is sick.

    PARIS
    Well, I'll make excuse.

    PANDARUS
    Ay, good my lord. Why should you say Cressida? no,
    your poor disposer's sick.

    PARIS
    I spy.

    PANDARUS
    You spy! what do you spy? Come, give me an
    instrument. Now, sweet queen.

    HELEN
    Why, this is kindly done.

    PANDARUS
    My niece is horribly in love with a thing you have,
    sweet queen.

    HELEN
    She shall have it, my lord, if it be not my lord Paris.

    PANDARUS
    He! no, she'll none of him; they two are twain.

    HELEN
    Falling in, after falling out, may make them three.

    PANDARUS
    Come, come, I'll hear no more of this; I'll sing
    you a song now.

    HELEN
    Ay, ay, prithee now. By my troth, sweet lord, thou
    hast a fine forehead.

    PANDARUS
    Ay, you may, you may.

    HELEN
    Let thy song be love: this love will undo us all.
    O Cupid, Cupid, Cupid!

    PANDARUS
    Love! ay, that it shall, i' faith.

    PARIS
    Ay, good now, love, love, nothing but love.

    PANDARUS
    In good troth, it begins so.

    Sings

    Love, love, nothing but love, still more!
    For, O, love's bow
    Shoots buck and doe:
    The shaft confounds,
    Not that it wounds,
    But tickles still the sore.
    These lovers cry Oh! oh! they die!
    Yet that which seems the wound to kill,
    Doth turn oh! oh! to ha! ha! he!
    So dying love lives still:
    Oh! oh! a while, but ha! ha! ha!
    Oh! oh! groans out for ha! ha! ha!
    Heigh-ho!

    HELEN
    In love, i' faith, to the very tip of the nose.

    PARIS
    He eats nothing but doves, love, and that breeds hot
    blood, and hot blood begets hot thoughts, and hot
    thoughts beget hot deeds, and hot deeds is love.

    PANDARUS
    Is this the generation of love? hot blood, hot
    thoughts, and hot deeds? Why, they are vipers:
    is love a generation of vipers? Sweet lord, who's
    a-field to-day?

    PARIS
    Hector, Deiphobus, Helenus, Antenor, and all the
    gallantry of Troy: I would fain have armed to-day,
    but my Nell would not have it so. How chance my
    brother Troilus went not?

    HELEN
    He hangs the lip at something: you know all, Lord Pandarus.

    PANDARUS
    Not I, honey-sweet queen. I long to hear how they
    sped to-day. You'll remember your brother's excuse?

    PARIS
    To a hair.

    PANDARUS
    Farewell, sweet queen.

    HELEN
    Commend me to your niece.

    PANDARUS
    I will, sweet queen.

    Exit

    A retreat sounded

    PARIS
    They're come from field: let us to Priam's hall,
    To greet the warriors. Sweet Helen, I must woo you
    To help unarm our Hector: his stubborn buckles,
    With these your white enchanting fingers touch'd,
    Shall more obey than to the edge of steel
    Or force of Greekish sinews; you shall do more
    Than all the island kings,--disarm great Hector.

    HELEN
    'Twill make us proud to be his servant, Paris;
    Yea, what he shall receive of us in duty
    Gives us more palm in beauty than we have,
    Yea, overshines ourself.

    PARIS
    Sweet, above thought I love thee.

    Exeunt
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