Act 4, Scene V

SCENE V. The Grecian camp. Lists set out.

Enter AJAX, armed; AGAMEMNON, ACHILLES, PATROCLUS, MENELAUS, ULYSSES, NESTOR, and others
AGAMEMNON
Here art thou in appointment fresh and fair,
Anticipating time with starting courage.
Give with thy trumpet a loud note to Troy,
Thou dreadful Ajax; that the appalled air
May pierce the head of the great combatant
And hale him hither.

AJAX
Thou, trumpet, there's my purse.
Now crack thy lungs, and split thy brazen pipe:
Blow, villain, till thy sphered bias cheek
Outswell the colic of puff'd Aquilon:
Come, stretch thy chest and let thy eyes spout blood;
Thou blow'st for Hector.

Trumpet sounds

ULYSSES
No trumpet answers.

ACHILLES
'Tis but early days.

AGAMEMNON
Is not yond Diomed, with Calchas' daughter?

ULYSSES
'Tis he, I ken the manner of his gait;
He rises on the toe: that spirit of his
In aspiration lifts him from the earth.

Enter DIOMEDES, with CRESSIDA

AGAMEMNON
Is this the Lady Cressid?

DIOMEDES
Even she.

AGAMEMNON
Most dearly welcome to the Greeks, sweet lady.

NESTOR
Our general doth salute you with a kiss.

ULYSSES
Yet is the kindness but particular;
'Twere better she were kiss'd in general.

NESTOR
And very courtly counsel: I'll begin.
So much for Nestor.

ACHILLES
I'll take what winter from your lips, fair lady:
Achilles bids you welcome.

MENELAUS
I had good argument for kissing once.

PATROCLUS
But that's no argument for kissing now;
For this popp'd Paris in his hardiment,
And parted thus you and your argument.

ULYSSES
O deadly gall, and theme of all our scorns!
For which we lose our heads to gild his horns.

PATROCLUS
The first was Menelaus' kiss; this, mine:
Patroclus kisses you.

MENELAUS
O, this is trim!

PATROCLUS
Paris and I kiss evermore for him.

MENELAUS
I'll have my kiss, sir. Lady, by your leave.

CRESSIDA
In kissing, do you render or receive?

PATROCLUS
Both take and give.

CRESSIDA
I'll make my match to live,
The kiss you take is better than you give;
Therefore no kiss.

MENELAUS
I'll give you boot, I'll give you three for one.

CRESSIDA
You're an odd man; give even or give none.

MENELAUS
An odd man, lady! every man is odd.

CRESSIDA
No, Paris is not; for you know 'tis true,
That you are odd, and he is even with you.

MENELAUS
You fillip me o' the head.

CRESSIDA
No, I'll be sworn.

ULYSSES
It were no match, your nail against his horn.
May