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    Act 5, Scene II

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    Chapter 16
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    SCENE II. The same. Before Calchas' tent.

    Enter DIOMEDES
    DIOMEDES
    What, are you up here, ho? speak.

    CALCHAS
    [Within] Who calls?

    DIOMEDES
    Calchas, I think. Where's your daughter?

    CALCHAS
    [Within] She comes to you.

    Enter TROILUS and ULYSSES, at a distance; after them, THERSITES

    ULYSSES
    Stand where the torch may not discover us.

    Enter CRESSIDA

    TROILUS
    Cressid comes forth to him.

    DIOMEDES
    How now, my charge!

    CRESSIDA
    Now, my sweet guardian! Hark, a word with you.

    Whispers

    TROILUS
    Yea, so familiar!

    ULYSSES
    She will sing any man at first sight.

    THERSITES
    And any man may sing her, if he can take her cliff;
    she's noted.

    DIOMEDES
    Will you remember?

    CRESSIDA
    Remember! yes.

    DIOMEDES
    Nay, but do, then;
    And let your mind be coupled with your words.

    TROILUS
    What should she remember?

    ULYSSES
    List.

    CRESSIDA
    Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to folly.

    THERSITES
    Roguery!

    DIOMEDES
    Nay, then,--

    CRESSIDA
    I'll tell you what,--

    DIOMEDES
    Foh, foh! come, tell a pin: you are forsworn.

    CRESSIDA
    In faith, I cannot: what would you have me do?

    THERSITES
    A juggling trick,--to be secretly open.

    DIOMEDES
    What did you swear you would bestow on me?

    CRESSIDA
    I prithee, do not hold me to mine oath;
    Bid me do any thing but that, sweet Greek.

    DIOMEDES
    Good night.

    TROILUS
    Hold, patience!

    ULYSSES
    How now, Trojan!

    CRESSIDA
    Diomed,--

    DIOMEDES
    No, no, good night: I'll be your fool no more.

    TROILUS
    Thy better must.

    CRESSIDA
    Hark, one word in your ear.

    TROILUS
    O plague and madness!

    ULYSSES
    You are moved, prince; let us depart, I pray you,
    Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself
    To wrathful terms: this place is dangerous;
    The time right deadly; I beseech you, go.

    TROILUS
    Behold, I pray you!

    ULYSSES
    Nay, good my lord, go off:
    You flow to great distraction; come, my lord.

    TROILUS
    I pray thee, stay.

    ULYSSES
    You have not patience; come.

    TROILUS
    I pray you, stay; by hell and all hell's torments
    I will not speak a word!

    DIOMEDES
    And so, good night.

    CRESSIDA
    Nay, but you part in anger.

    TROILUS
    Doth that grieve thee?
    O wither'd truth!

    ULYSSES
    Why, how now, lord!

    TROILUS
    By Jove,
    I will be patient.

    CRESSIDA
    Guardian!--why, Greek!

    DIOMEDES
    Foh, foh! adieu; you palter.

    CRESSIDA
    In faith, I do not: come hither once again.

    ULYSSES
    You shake, my lord, at something: will you go?
    You will break out.

    TROILUS
    She strokes his cheek!

    ULYSSES
    Come, come.

    TROILUS
    Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a word:
    There is between my will and all offences
    A guard of patience: stay a little while.

    THERSITES
    How the devil Luxury, with his fat rump and
    potato-finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!

    DIOMEDES
    But will you, then?

    CRESSIDA
    In faith, I will, la; never trust me else.

    DIOMEDES
    Give me some token for the surety of it.

    CRESSIDA
    I'll fetch you one.

    Exit

    ULYSSES
    You have sworn patience.

    TROILUS
    Fear me not, sweet lord;
    I will not be myself, nor have cognition
    Of what I feel: I am all patience.

    Re-enter CRESSIDA

    THERSITES
    Now the pledge; now, now, now!

    CRESSIDA
    Here, Diomed, keep this sleeve.

    TROILUS
    O beauty! where is thy faith?

    ULYSSES
    My lord,--

    TROILUS
    I will be patient; outwardly I will.

    CRESSIDA
    You look upon that sleeve; behold it well.
    He loved me--O false wench!--Give't me again.

    DIOMEDES
    Whose was't?

    CRESSIDA
    It is no matter, now I have't again.
    I will not meet with you to-morrow night:
    I prithee, Diomed, visit me no more.

    THERSITES
    Now she sharpens: well said, whetstone!

    DIOMEDES
    I shall have it.

    CRESSIDA
    What, this?

    DIOMEDES
    Ay, that.

    CRESSIDA
    O, all you gods! O pretty, pretty pledge!
    Thy master now lies thinking in his bed
    Of thee and me, and sighs, and takes my glove,
    And gives memorial dainty kisses to it,
    As I kiss thee. Nay, do not snatch it from me;
    He that takes that doth take my heart withal.

    DIOMEDES
    I had your heart before, this follows it.

    TROILUS
    I did swear patience.

    CRESSIDA
    You shall not have it, Diomed; faith, you shall not;
    I'll give you something else.

    DIOMEDES
    I will have this: whose was it?

    CRESSIDA
    It is no matter.

    DIOMEDES
    Come, tell me whose it was.

    CRESSIDA
    'Twas one's that loved me better than you will.
    But, now you have it, take it.

    DIOMEDES
    Whose was it?

    CRESSIDA
    By all Diana's waiting-women yond,
    And by herself, I will not tell you whose.

    DIOMEDES
    To-morrow will I wear it on my helm,
    And grieve his spirit that dares not challenge it.

    TROILUS
    Wert thou the devil, and worest it on thy horn,
    It should be challenged.

    CRESSIDA
    Well, well, 'tis done, 'tis past: and yet it is not;
    I will not keep my word.

    DIOMEDES
    Why, then, farewell;
    Thou never shalt mock Diomed again.

    CRESSIDA
    You shall not go: one cannot speak a word,
    But it straight starts you.

    DIOMEDES
    I do not like this fooling.

    THERSITES
    Nor I, by Pluto: but that that likes not you pleases me best.

    DIOMEDES
    What, shall I come? the hour?

    CRESSIDA
    Ay, come:--O Jove!--do come:--I shall be plagued.

    DIOMEDES
    Farewell till then.

    CRESSIDA
    Good night: I prithee, come.

    Exit DIOMEDES

    Troilus, farewell! one eye yet looks on thee
    But with my heart the other eye doth see.
    Ah, poor our sex! this fault in us I find,
    The error of our eye directs our mind:
    What error leads must err; O, then conclude
    Minds sway'd by eyes are full of turpitude.

    Exit

    THERSITES
    A proof of strength she could not publish more,
    Unless she said ' My mind is now turn'd whore.'

    ULYSSES
    All's done, my lord.

    TROILUS
    It is.

    ULYSSES
    Why stay we, then?

    TROILUS
    To make a recordation to my soul
    Of every syllable that here was spoke.
    But if I tell how these two did co-act,
    Shall I not lie in publishing a truth?
    Sith yet there is a credence in my heart,
    An esperance so obstinately strong,
    That doth invert the attest of eyes and ears,
    As if those organs had deceptious functions,
    Created only to calumniate.
    Was Cressid here?

    ULYSSES
    I cannot conjure, Trojan.

    TROILUS
    She was not, sure.

    ULYSSES
    Most sure she was.

    TROILUS
    Why, my negation hath no taste of madness.

    ULYSSES
    Nor mine, my lord: Cressid was here but now.

    TROILUS
    Let it not be believed for womanhood!
    Think, we had mothers; do not give advantage
    To stubborn critics, apt, without a theme,
    For depravation, to square the general sex
    By Cressid's rule: rather think this not Cressid.

    ULYSSES
    What hath she done, prince, that can soil our mothers?

    TROILUS
    Nothing at all, unless that this were she.

    THERSITES
    Will he swagger himself out on's own eyes?

    TROILUS
    This she? no, this is Diomed's Cressida:
    If beauty have a soul, this is not she;
    If souls guide vows, if vows be sanctimonies,
    If sanctimony be the gods' delight,
    If there be rule in unity itself,
    This is not she. O madness of discourse,
    That cause sets up with and against itself!
    Bi-fold authority! where reason can revolt
    Without perdition, and loss assume all reason
    Without revolt: this is, and is not, Cressid.
    Within my soul there doth conduce a fight
    Of this strange nature that a thing inseparate
    Divides more wider than the sky and earth,
    And yet the spacious breadth of this division
    Admits no orifex for a point as subtle
    As Ariachne's broken woof to enter.
    Instance, O instance! strong as Pluto's gates;
    Cressid is mine, tied with the bonds of heaven:
    Instance, O instance! strong as heaven itself;
    The bonds of heaven are slipp'd, dissolved, and loosed;
    And with another knot, five-finger-tied,
    The fractions of her faith, orts of her love,
    The fragments, scraps, the bits and greasy relics
    Of her o'er-eaten faith, are bound to Diomed.

    ULYSSES
    May worthy Troilus be half attach'd
    With that which here his passion doth express?

    TROILUS
    Ay, Greek; and that shall be divulged well
    In characters as red as Mars his heart
    Inflamed with Venus: never did young man fancy
    With so eternal and so fix'd a soul.
    Hark, Greek: as much as I do Cressid love,
    So much by weight hate I her Diomed:
    That sleeve is mine that he'll bear on his helm;
    Were it a casque composed by Vulcan's skill,
    My sword should bite it: not the dreadful spout
    Which shipmen do the hurricano call,
    Constringed in mass by the almighty sun,
    Shall dizzy with more clamour Neptune's ear
    In his descent than shall my prompted sword
    Falling on Diomed.

    THERSITES
    He'll tickle it for his concupy.

    TROILUS
    O Cressid! O false Cressid! false, false, false!
    Let all untruths stand by thy stained name,
    And they'll seem glorious.

    ULYSSES
    O, contain yourself
    Your passion draws ears hither.

    Enter AENEAS

    AENEAS
    I have been seeking you this hour, my lord:
    Hector, by this, is arming him in Troy;
    Ajax, your guard, stays to conduct you home.

    TROILUS
    Have with you, prince. My courteous lord, adieu.
    Farewell, revolted fair! and, Diomed,
    Stand fast, and wear a castle on thy head!

    ULYSSES
    I'll bring you to the gates.

    TROILUS
    Accept distracted thanks.

    Exeunt TROILUS, AENEAS, and ULYSSES

    THERSITES
    Would I could meet that rogue Diomed! I would
    croak like a raven; I would bode, I would bode.
    Patroclus will give me any thing for the
    intelligence of this whore: the parrot will not
    do more for an almond than he for a commodious drab.
    Lechery, lechery; still, wars and lechery; nothing
    else holds fashion: a burning devil take them!

    Exit
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