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    Act 5, Scene IV

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    Chapter 18
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    SCENE IV. Plains between Troy and the Grecian camp.

    Alarums: excursions. Enter THERSITES
    THERSITES
    Now they are clapper-clawing one another; I'll go
    look on. That dissembling abominable varlets Diomed,
    has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave's
    sleeve of Troy there in his helm: I would fain see
    them meet; that that same young Trojan ass, that
    loves the whore there, might send that Greekish
    whore-masterly villain, with the sleeve, back to the
    dissembling luxurious drab, of a sleeveless errand.
    O' the t'other side, the policy of those crafty
    swearing rascals, that stale old mouse-eaten dry
    cheese, Nestor, and that same dog-fox, Ulysses, is
    not proved worthy a blackberry: they set me up, in
    policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against that dog of
    as bad a kind, Achilles: and now is the cur Ajax
    prouder than the cur Achilles, and will not arm
    to-day; whereupon the Grecians begin to proclaim
    barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opinion.
    Soft! here comes sleeve, and t'other.

    Enter DIOMEDES, TROILUS following

    TROILUS
    Fly not; for shouldst thou take the river Styx,
    I would swim after.

    DIOMEDES
    Thou dost miscall retire:
    I do not fly, but advantageous care
    Withdrew me from the odds of multitude:
    Have at thee!

    THERSITES
    Hold thy whore, Grecian!--now for thy whore,
    Trojan!--now the sleeve, now the sleeve!

    Exeunt TROILUS and DIOMEDES, fighting

    Enter HECTOR

    HECTOR
    What art thou, Greek? art thou for Hector's match?
    Art thou of blood and honour?

    THERSITES
    No, no, I am a rascal; a scurvy railing knave:
    a very filthy rogue.

    HECTOR
    I do believe thee: live.

    Exit

    THERSITES
    God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me; but a
    plague break thy neck for frightening me! What's
    become of the wenching rogues? I think they have
    swallowed one another: I would laugh at that
    miracle: yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself.
    I'll seek them.

    Exit
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