Act 1, Scene V - Page 2

cucullus non
facit monachum; that's as much to say as I wear not
motley in my brain. Good madonna, give me leave to
prove you a fool.

OLIVIA
Can you do it?

Clown
Dexterously, good madonna.

OLIVIA
Make your proof.

Clown
I must catechise you for it, madonna: good my mouse
of virtue, answer me.

OLIVIA
Well, sir, for want of other idleness, I'll bide your proof.

Clown
Good madonna, why mournest thou?

OLIVIA
Good fool, for my brother's death.

Clown
I think his soul is in hell, madonna.

OLIVIA
I know his soul is in heaven, fool.

Clown
The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother's
soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.

OLIVIA
What think you of this fool, Malvolio? doth he not mend?

MALVOLIO
Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death shake him:
infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the
better fool.

Clown
God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the
better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be
sworn that I am no fox; but he will not pass his
word for two pence that you are no fool.

OLIVIA
How say you to that, Malvolio?

MALVOLIO
I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a
barren rascal: I saw him put down the other day
with an ordinary fool that has no more brain
than a stone. Look you now, he's out of his guard
already; unless you laugh and minister occasion to
him, he is gagged. I protest, I take these wise men,
that crow so at these set kind of fools, no better
than the fools' zanies.

OLIVIA
Oh, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste
with a distempered appetite. To be generous,
guiltless and of free disposition, is to take those
things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets:
there is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do
nothing but rail; nor no railing in a known discreet
man, though he do nothing but reprove.

Clown
Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou
speakest well of fools!

Re-enter MARIA

MARIA
Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much
desires to speak with you.

OLIVIA
From the Count Orsino, is it?

MARIA
I know not, madam: 'tis a fair young man, and well attended.

OLIVIA
Who of my people hold him in delay?

MARIA
Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.

OLIVIA
Fetch him off, I pray you; he speaks nothing but
madman: fie on him!

Exit MARIA

Go you, Malvolio: if it be a suit from the count, I
am sick, or not at home; what you will, to dismiss it.

Exit MALVOLIO

Now you see, sir, how your fooling