Act 2, Scene III - Page 2

SIR TOBY BELCH
To hear by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion.
But shall we make the welkin dance indeed? shall we
rouse the night-owl in a catch that will draw three
souls out of one weaver? shall we do that?

SIR ANDREW
An you love me, let's do't: I am dog at a catch.

Clown
By'r lady, sir, and some dogs will catch well.

SIR ANDREW
Most certain. Let our catch be, 'Thou knave.'

Clown
'Hold thy peace, thou knave,' knight? I shall be
constrained in't to call thee knave, knight.

SIR ANDREW
'Tis not the first time I have constrained one to
call me knave. Begin, fool: it begins 'Hold thy peace.'

Clown
I shall never begin if I hold my peace.

SIR ANDREW
Good, i' faith. Come, begin.

Catch sung

Enter MARIA

MARIA
What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady
have not called up her steward Malvolio and bid him
turn you out of doors, never trust me.

SIR TOBY BELCH
My lady's a Cataian, we are politicians, Malvolio's
a Peg-a-Ramsey, and 'Three merry men be we.' Am not
I consanguineous? am I not of her blood?
Tillyvally. Lady!

Sings

'There dwelt a man in Babylon, lady, lady!'

Clown
Beshrew me, the knight's in admirable fooling.

SIR ANDREW
Ay, he does well enough if he be disposed, and so do
I too: he does it with a better grace, but I do it
more natural.

SIR TOBY BELCH
[Sings] 'O, the twelfth day of December,'--

MARIA
For the love o' God, peace!

Enter MALVOLIO

MALVOLIO
My masters, are you mad? or what are you? Have ye
no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like
tinkers at this time of night? Do ye make an
alehouse of my lady's house, that ye squeak out your
coziers' catches without any mitigation or remorse
of voice? Is there no respect of place, persons, nor
time in you?

SIR TOBY BELCH
We did keep time, sir, in our catches. Sneck up!

MALVOLIO
Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade me
tell you, that, though she harbours you as her
kinsman, she's nothing allied to your disorders. If
you can separate yourself and your misdemeanors, you
are welcome to the house; if not, an it would please
you to take leave of her, she is very willing to bid
you farewell.

SIR TOBY BELCH
'Farewell, dear heart, since I must needs be gone.'

MARIA
Nay, good Sir Toby.

Clown
'His eyes do show his days are almost done.'

MALVOLIO
Is't even so?

SIR TOBY BELCH
'But I will never die.'

Clown
Sir Toby, there you lie.

MALVOLIO
This is much credit to you.

SIR TOBY BELCH