Act 4, Scene II - Page 2

MALVOLIO
I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.

Clown
Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness:
thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will
allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock, lest
thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.

MALVOLIO
Sir Topas, Sir Topas!

SIR TOBY BELCH
My most exquisite Sir Topas!

Clown
Nay, I am for all waters.

MARIA
Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and
gown: he sees thee not.

SIR TOBY BELCH
To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how
thou findest him: I would we were well rid of this
knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I
would he were, for I am now so far in offence with
my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety this
sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.

Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA

Clown
[Singing]
'Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,
Tell me how thy lady does.'

MALVOLIO
Fool!

Clown
'My lady is unkind, perdy.'

MALVOLIO
Fool!

Clown
'Alas, why is she so?'

MALVOLIO
Fool, I say!

Clown
'She loves another'--Who calls, ha?

MALVOLIO
Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my
hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink and paper:
as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to
thee for't.

Clown
Master Malvolio?

MALVOLIO
Ay, good fool.

Clown
Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?

MALVOLIO
Fool, there was never a man so notoriously abused: I
am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art.

Clown
But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no
better in your wits than a fool.

MALVOLIO
They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness,
send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to
face me out of my wits.

Clown
Advise you what you say; the minister is here.
Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore!
endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain
bibble babble.

MALVOLIO
Sir Topas!

Clown
Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I,
sir? not I, sir. God be wi' you, good Sir Topas.
Merry, amen. I will, sir, I will.

MALVOLIO
Fool, fool, fool, I say!

Clown
Alas, sir, be patient. What say you sir? I am
shent for speaking to you.

MALVOLIO
Good fool, help me to some light and some paper: I
tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.

Clown
Well-a-day that you were, sir

MALVOLIO
By this hand, I am. Good fool, some ink, paper and
light; and convey what I will set down to my lady: