Act 2. Scene I

SCENE I. Milan. The DUKE's palace.

Enter VALENTINE and SPEED
SPEED
Sir, your glove.

VALENTINE
Not mine; my gloves are on.

SPEED
Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.

VALENTINE
Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine:
Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
Ah, Silvia, Silvia!

SPEED
Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!

VALENTINE
How now, sirrah?

SPEED
She is not within hearing, sir.

VALENTINE
Why, sir, who bade you call her?

SPEED
Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.

VALENTINE
Well, you'll still be too forward.

SPEED
And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.

VALENTINE
Go to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?

SPEED
She that your worship loves?

VALENTINE
Why, how know you that I am in love?

SPEED
Marry, by these special marks: first, you have
learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms,
like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a
robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had
the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had
lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had
buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes
diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to
speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were
wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you
walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you
fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you
looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you
are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look
on you, I can hardly think you my master.

VALENTINE
Are all these things perceived in me?

SPEED
They are all perceived without ye.

VALENTINE
Without me? they cannot.

SPEED
Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you
were so simple, none else would: but you are so
without these follies, that these follies are within
you and shine through you like the water in an
urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a
physician to comment on your malady.

VALENTINE
But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?

SPEED
She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?

VALENTINE
Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean.

SPEED
Why, sir, I know her not.

VALENTINE
Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet
knowest her not?

SPEED
Is she not hard-favoured, sir?

VALENTINE
Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.

SPEED
Sir, I know that well enough.

VALENTINE
What dost thou know?

SPEED
That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.