Act 4, Scene III - Page 2

offends me more
than the stripes I have received, which are mighty
ones and millions.

Clown
Alas, poor man! a million of beating may come to a
great matter.

AUTOLYCUS
I am robbed, sir, and beaten; my money and apparel
ta'en from me, and these detestable things put upon
me.

Clown
What, by a horseman, or a footman?

AUTOLYCUS
A footman, sweet sir, a footman.

Clown
Indeed, he should be a footman by the garments he
has left with thee: if this be a horseman's coat,
it hath seen very hot service. Lend me thy hand,
I'll help thee: come, lend me thy hand.

AUTOLYCUS
O, good sir, tenderly, O!

Clown
Alas, poor soul!

AUTOLYCUS
O, good sir, softly, good sir! I fear, sir, my
shoulder-blade is out.

Clown
How now! canst stand?

AUTOLYCUS
[Picking his pocket]
Softly, dear sir; good sir, softly. You ha' done me
a charitable office.

Clown
Dost lack any money? I have a little money for thee.

AUTOLYCUS
No, good sweet sir; no, I beseech you, sir: I have
a kinsman not past three quarters of a mile hence,
unto whom I was going; I shall there have money, or
any thing I want: offer me no money, I pray you;
that kills my heart.

Clown
What manner of fellow was he that robbed you?

AUTOLYCUS
A fellow, sir, that I have known to go about with
troll-my-dames; I knew him once a servant of the
prince: I cannot tell, good sir, for which of his
virtues it was, but he was certainly whipped out of the court.

Clown
His vices, you would say; there's no virtue whipped
out of the court: they cherish it to make it stay
there; and yet it will no more but abide.

AUTOLYCUS
Vices, I would say, sir. I know this man well: he
hath been since an ape-bearer; then a
process-server, a bailiff; then he compassed a
motion of the Prodigal Son, and married a tinker's
wife within a mile where my land and living lies;
and, having flown over many knavish professions, he
settled only in rogue: some call him Autolycus.

Clown
Out upon him! prig, for my life, prig: he haunts
wakes, fairs and bear-baitings.

AUTOLYCUS
Very true, sir; he, sir, he; that's the rogue that
put me into this apparel.

Clown
Not a more cowardly rogue in all Bohemia: if you had
but looked big and spit at him, he'ld have run.

AUTOLYCUS
I must confess to you, sir, I am no fighter: I am
false of heart that way; and that he knew, I warrant
him.

Clown
How do you now?

AUTOLYCUS
Sweet sir, much better than I was; I can stand and
walk: I will even take my leave of you, and pace
softly