Act III - Page 2

Andrew made you drunk!

CUSINS. No: he only provided the wine. I think it was Dionysos
who made me drunk. [To Barbara] I told you I was possessed.

LADY BRITOMART. Your'e not sober yet. Go home to bed at once.

CUSINS. I have never before ventured to reproach you, Lady Brit;
but how could you marry the Prince of Darkness?

LADY BRITOMART. It was much more excusable to marry him than to
get drunk with him. That is a new accomplishment of Andrew's, by
the way. He usen't to drink.

CUSINS. He doesn't now. He only sat there and completed the wreck
of my moral basis, the rout of my convictions, the purchase of my
soul. He cares for you, Barbara. That is what makes him so
dangerous to me.

BARBARA. That has nothing to do with it, Dolly. There are larger
loves and diviner dreams than the fireside ones. You know that,
don't you?

CUSINS. Yes: that is our understanding. I know it. I hold to it.
Unless he can win me on that holier ground he may amuse me for a
while; but he can get no deeper hold, strong as he is.

BARBARA. Keep to that; and the end will be right. Now tell me
what happened at the meeting?

CUSINS. It was an amazing meeting. Mrs Baines almost died of
emotion. Jenny Hill went stark mad with hysteria. The Prince of
Darkness played his trombone like a madman: its brazen roarings
were like the laughter of the damned. 117 conversions took place
then and there. They prayed with the most touching sincerity and
gratitude for Bodger, and for the anonymous donor of the 5000
pounds. Your father would not let his name be given.

LOMAX. That was rather fine of the old man, you know. Most chaps
would have wanted the advertisement.

CUSINS. He said all the charitable institutions would be down on
him like kites on a battle field if he gave his name.

LADY BRITOMART. That's Andrew all over. He never does a proper
thing without giving an improper reason for it.

CUSINS. He convinced me that I have all my life been doing
improper things for proper reasons.

LADY BRITOMART. Adolphus: now that Barbara has left the Salvation
Army, you had better leave it too. I will not have you playing
that drum in the streets.

CUSINS. Your orders are already obeyed, Lady Brit.

BARBARA. Dolly: were you ever really in earnest about it? Would
you have joined if you had never seen me?

CUSINS [disingenuously] Well--er--well, possibly, as a collector
of religions--

LOMAX [cunningly] Not as a drummer, though, you know. You are a
very clearheaded brainy chap, Cholly; and it must have been
apparent to you that there is a certain amount of tosh about--

LADY BRITOMART. Charles: if you must drivel, drivel like a
grown-up man