Act V - Page 2

cant let her go like this, you know, Mrs. Higgins. What were we to do?

MRSX HIGGINS
You have no more sense, either of you, than two children. Why--

The parlor-maid comes in and breaks off the conversation.

THE PARLOR-MAID
Mr. Henry: a gentleman wants to see you very particular. Hes been sent on from Wimpole Street.

HIGGINS
Oh, bother! I cant see anyone now. Who is it?

THE PARLOR-MAID
A Mr. Doolittle, sir.

PICKERING
Doolittle! Do you mean the dustman?

THE PARLOR-MAID
Dustman! Oh no, sir: a gentleman.

HIGGINS
[springing up excitedly] By George, Pick, it's some relative of hers that shes gone to. Somebody we know nothing about. [To the parlor-maid] Send him up, quick.

THE PARLOR-MAID
Yes, sir. [She goes].

HIGGINS
[eagerly, going to his mother] Genteel relatives! now we shall hear something. [He sits down in the Chippendale chair].

MRSX HIGGINS
Do you know any of her people?

PICKERING
Only her father: the fellow we told you about.

THE PARLOR-MAID
[announcing] Mr. Doolittle. [She withdraws].

Doolittle enters. He is brilliantly dressed in a new fashionable frock-coat, with white waistcoat and grey trousers. A flower in his buttonhole, a dazzling silk hat, and patent leather shoes complete the effect. He is too concerned with the business he has come on to notice Mrs. Higgins. He walks straight to Higgins, and accosts him with vehement reproach.

DOOLITTLE
[indicating his own person] See here! Do you see this? You done this.

HIGGINS
Done what, man?

DOOLITTLE
This, I tell you. Look at it. Look at this hat. Look at this coat.

PICKERING
Has Eliza been buying you clothes?

DOOLITTLE
Eliza! not she. Not half. Why would she buy me clothes?

MRSX HIGGINS
Good-morning, Mr. Doolittle. Wont you sit down?

DOOLITTLE
[taken aback as he becomes conscious that he has forgotten his hostess] Asking your pardon, maam. [He approaches her and shakes her proffered hand]. Thank you. [He sits down on the ottoman, on Pickering's right]. I am that full of what has happened to me that I cant think of anything else.

HIGGINS
What the dickens has happened to you?

DOOLITTLE
I shouldnt mind if it had only happened to me: anything might happen to anybody and nobody to blame but Providence, as you might say. But this is something that you done to me: yes, you, Henry Higgins.

HIGGINS
Have you found Eliza? Thats the point.

DOOLITTLE
Have you lost her?

HIGGINS
Yes.

DOOLITTLE
You have all the luck, you have. I aint found her; but she'll find me quick enough now after what you done to me.

MRSX HIGGINS
But what has my son done to you,