Chapter 26 - Page 2

chicken bone, so as to get time to think
how to get down again. Then I says:

"I mean he goes to our church regular when he's in
Sheffield. That's only in the summer time, when he
comes there to take the sea baths."

"Why, how you talk -- Sheffield ain't on the sea."

"Well, who said it was?"

"Why, you did."

"I DIDN'T nuther."

"You did!"

"I didn't."

"You did."

"I never said nothing of the kind."

"Well, what DID you say, then?"

"Said he come to take the sea BATHS -- that's what I
said."

"Well, then, how's he going to take the sea baths if
it ain't on the sea?"

"Looky here," I says; "did you ever see any
Congress-water?"

"Yes."

"Well, did you have to go to Congress to get
it?"

"Why, no."

"Well, neither does William Fourth have to go to
the sea to get a sea bath."

"How does he get it, then?"

"Gets it the way people down here gets Congress-
water -- in barrels. There in the palace at Sheffield
they've got furnaces, and he wants his water hot.
They can't bile that amount of water away off there at
the sea. They haven't got no conveniences for it."

"Oh, I see, now. You might a said that in the first
place and saved time."

When she said that I see I was out of the woods
again, and so I was comfortable and glad. Next, she
says:

"Do you go to church, too?"

"Yes -- regular."

"Where do you set?"

"Why, in our pew."

"WHOSE pew?"

"Why, OURN -- your Uncle Harvey's."

"His'n? What does HE want with a pew?"

"Wants it to set in. What did you RECKON he wanted
with it?"

"Why, I thought he'd be in the pulpit."

Rot him, I forgot he was a preacher. I see I was
up a stump again, so I played another chicken bone
and got another think. Then I says:

"Blame it, do you suppose there ain't but one
preacher to a church?"

"Why, what do they want with more?"

"What! -- to preach before a king? I never did
see such a girl as you. They don't have no less than
seventeen."

"Seventeen! My land! Why, I wouldn't set out
such a string as that, not if I NEVER got to glory. It
must take 'em a week."

"Shucks, they don't ALL of 'em preach the same
day -- only ONE of 'em."

"Well, then, what does the rest of 'em do?"

"Oh, nothing much. Loll around, pass the plate
-- and one thing or another. But mainly they don't
do nothing."

"Well, then, what are they FOR?"

"Why, they're for STYLE. Don't you know noth-
ing?"

"Well, I don't WANT to know no such foolishness as
that. How is servants treated