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    P. J. O'Rourke quotes
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    "If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way."

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    P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

    American humorist & political commentator

    Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

    • A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
    • A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
    • Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
    • Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.
    • Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.
    • Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
    • Never fight an inanimate object.
    • Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.
    • The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
    • The U.S. Constitution is less than a quarter the length of the owner's manual for a 1998 Toyota Camry, and yet it has managed to keep 300 million of the world's most unruly, passionate and energetic people safe, prosperous and free.
    • The weirder you are going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
    • Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.
    • When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
    • With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life.
    • There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.
      Parliament of Whores (1991)
    • The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting.
      Modern Manners, 1983
    If we're missing any P. J. O'Rourke books or quotes, do email us.

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