Scott Adams Quotes

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there.

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be 'that stabbin' Dilbert guy.'

Frankly, I'm suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue.

Ask a deeply religious Christian if he'd rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don't seem so bad lately.

You haven't achieved equality until you're a legitimate target for humor.

Men want sex. If men ruled the world, they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Gas stations would give sex with every fill-up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a checking account.

Dance like it hurts, Love like you need money, Work when people are watching.