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    Fred Allen Quotes

    American radio comedian

    Quotes by Fred Allen

    • A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
    • A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
    • California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange.
    • Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
    • Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
    • Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
    • I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
    • Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
    • What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
    • You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
    • [Television is] the triumph of machine over people.
    • I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
      in a letter to Groucho Marx, 1953
    • Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well-done.
      on the radio program The Big Show, Dec. 17, 1950
    If we're missing any Fred Allen books or quotes, do email us.

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