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    Henny Youngman Quotes

    American (English-born) comedian

    Quotes by Henny Youngman

    • I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
    • I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
    • I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
    • My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
    • When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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