Strephon and Chloe

1731

Of Chloe all the town has rung, By ev'ry size of poets sung: So beautiful a nymph appears But once in twenty thousand years; By Nature form'd with nicest care, And faultless to a single hair. Her graceful mien, her shape, and face, Confess'd her of no mortal race: And then so nice, and so genteel; Such cleanliness from head to heel; No humours gross, or frouzy steams, No noisome whiffs, or sweaty streams, Before, behind, above, below, Could from her taintless body flow: Would so discreetly things dispose, None ever saw her pluck a rose.[1] Her dearest comrades never caught her Squat on her hams to make maid's water: You'd swear that so divine a creature Felt no necessities of nature. In summer had she walk'd the town, Her armpits would not stain her gown: At country dances, not a nose Could in the dog-days smell her toes. Her milk-white hands, both palms and backs, Like ivory dry, and soft as wax. Her hands, the softest ever felt, [2] Though cold would burn, though dry would melt.

Dear Venus, hide this wond'rous maid, Nor let her loose to spoil your trade. While she engrosses ev'ry swain, You but o'er half the world can reign. Think what a case all men are now in, What ogling, sighing, toasting, vowing! What powder'd wigs! what flames and darts! What hampers full of bleeding hearts! What sword-knots! what poetic strains! What billets-doux, and clouded canes!

But Strephon sigh'd so loud and strong, He blew a settlement along; And bravely drove his rivals down, With coach and six, and house in town. The bashful nymph no more withstands, Because her dear papa commands. The charming couple now unites: Proceed we to the marriage rites.

Imprimis, at the Temple porch Stood Hymen with a flaming torch: The smiling Cyprian Goddess brings Her infant loves with purple wings: And pigeons billing, sparrows treading, Fair emblems of a fruitful wedding. The Muses next in order follow, Conducted by their squire, Apollo: Then Mercury with silver tongue; And Hebe, goddess ever young. Behold, the bridegroom and his bride Walk hand in hand, and side by side; She, by the tender Graces drest, But he, by Mars, in scarlet vest. The nymph was cover'd with her flammeum[3], And Phoebus sung th'epithalamium[4]. And last, to make the matter sure, Dame Juno brought a priest demure. [5]Luna was absent, on pretence Her time was not till nine months hence. The rites perform'd, the parson paid, In state return'd the grand parade; With loud huzzas from all the boys, That now the pair must crown their joys.

But still the hardest part remains: Strephon had long perplex'd his brains, How with so high a nymph he might Demean himself the wedding-night: For, as he view'd his person round, Mere mortal flesh was all he found: His hand, his neck, his mouth, and feet, Were duly wash'd, to keep them sweet; With other parts, that shall be nameless, The ladies else might think me shameless. The weather and his love were hot; And,